Take Me to Your Leader

On Friday, I decided to start a new Bible study. I had bought a book a few weeks ago - recognizing my need to trust and surrender to God. It is called "Giving God Your All". It is a Women of Faith study.

I wrote a big post about how much I had gotten from the first chapter and then blogger shut down on me and deleted it!

Well, I'm not going to write the whole thing again. In fact, I can't! It was a from the heart thing at the moment, you know? But here is the jist...

The first chapter is "Take Me to Your Leader". It is about how Jesus is the Shepherd and we are the sheep. I read verse after verse about how He leads and how His sheep know His voice and follow.

There is one particular verse which really stood out to me:

"I will lead the blind

by a road they do not know,

by paths they have not known

I will guide them.

I will turn the darkness before them into light,

the rough places into level ground.

These are the things I will do,

and I will not forsake them."

--Isaiah 42:16

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It is the "road they do not know" and the "paths they have not known", not to mention the "darkness" and "rough places", that I fear! It is hard for me to not hold onto those parts of this verse and stay in fear! I must force myself to read the other parts - "I will lead", "I will guide", "turn..into light...into level ground". And the best part "I will not forsake them".

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The study says "it can be hard to submit to the leadership of others - especially if we do not trust them or we do not like the direction they are headed". HELLO! That is me! I don't like where God has led me in the last 2 years. I am angry with him and disappointed in my life!

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It is hard for me to trust Him, when I fear where I am headed. I am weak. I am so weak, I am afraid to trust. I know this is called faith. I've been there before. I know that He will give me the peace that I need (and so desperately want) if I just give Him my trust. And yet, I don't. I am praying for help to get past this. I know He wants my heart. And I DO want to give it to Him. I feel choked by fear!

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I'm not giving up, but pushing forward! I know I can get past this with His help!

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(Sorry for the "--" at the bottom!! Blogger is still acting up! I can't post pictures either!!)

Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt - Blue

This week's theme is BLUE!

This is the first thing I thought of - a picture of my dislocated/broken toe - which may be better described as black!

Read about how it happenened!

Trusting...

Peachy said that I sound worn out, physically and spiritually. I am! I've been trying to "snap out of it", but can't do it! I need to let go of everything in my life and trust God to handle it. Man, it's hard sometimes, isn't it?

Please pray for me...

Updates!

It has been a big week already! We've had company here from Sunday - Wednesday. Papa's brother and sister-in-law. We had a great time!

Monday we drove over to Pigeon Forge and road go-carts, ate lunch, shopped and played Putt Putt. Tuesday we went to the zoo and home for a cookout. Yesterday after they left, we all crashed! Worn out!

Update on Game Master: We met yesterday with our church's children's pastor. He was able to refer us to a Christian counselor that specializes in children. In fact, the counselor goes to our church too! I'm excited about meeting with her and trying to get Game Master help!

Update on Pretty Princess: She is doing really well in school! I'm so proud of her. She is such a big girl. Yesterday she came home from school saying "Hola, Amigos!" They have spanish class every morning and she was sharing what she had learned!

Update on TN Mama? I don't know what to say. I've enjoyed having company. I'm glad to be getting back on track today (except for the laundry!). It seems like things are never consistent with school. I wish things were simpler around here!

Game Master on my mind...

Today has been better. We have been running errands and haven't tried doing schoolwork. I pray this afternoon will go well as we dig in.

Why the drastic change in him? I just can't figure it out. He doesn't know either.

I'll just keep praying for God's guidance and help.

Running on empty

Traditionally, today has been "Thursday Thanks Tank" for me. I'm so glad that Peach is still doing it! But since my blogging revival, I'm not holding myself to it anymore. It's a good thing, too, because today - I'm running on empty!

As you know, we homeschool. We officially got started in the middle of July. We've done a lot in the last month, but not enough with our curriculum (some, but we are now running behind where I had hoped to be at this point). Today, I was determined to get us headed in the right direction.

It did not go well. Actually, Candy Man did terrific! He got his work done early and had extra free time this afternoon.

Game Master was a bear! He cried. He yelled. He defied. He balked. He refused.

I tried compassion. I loved. I got frustrated. I got angry. I made threats. I took away the TV. I grounded him to his room for the rest of the day.

Well, this is looking to be a good year in school! NOT!

I am genuinely concerned for this child. He has always been my happy boy. A loving, caring, and compassionate child. He is well known for his heart for Jesus and his desire to tell others about Him. For years he has been one of the sweetest children I've ever met (and I'm not just saying that as his mother!).

Then he went to public school for 2nd grade. He repeatedly got his feelings hurt, since he was very obedient and kind to the other children, and they were so disobedient and unkind to him (not anymore than anyone else though). He couldn't understand what was wrong with those children. It was a very difficult year for him and we decided it'd be best for him to be homeschooled again.

Over the course of last year (3rd grade), he did really well with his schoolwork - finishing his curriculum in late February (quite early). His behavior was good. His attitude was good. Until March or April or so. I don't know what happened.

Since then, he has become an extremely unhappy child. He is frequently unkind, disobedient, and disrespectful. He is downright bored most of the time, rarely has fun doing anything, and doesn't want to do anything but watch TV, play Game Cube, or be on the computer.

My heart is breaking for him. I've tried everything I know to do. I'm really concerned for him. Today was the first day that I really have gotten angry with him. My frustration for his behavior and my not knowing how to help him all came together today.

Now I just don't know what to do...

Please pray for my son. I know he is in there somewhere.

A trip to the dentist

Do you like going to the dentist? I do not. I mean, I REALLY do not like going to the dentist! This year we opted to pay for the dental plan with Martin's job. I thought that would make me go (as well as the whole family). You know - since we are paying for it, we must go, right!?

Of course, it takes months to get a cleaning appointment, so months ago, I scheduled us all appointments with our new dentist (assigned by our insurance company). Today, it was the boy's turn - Papa, Game Master, and Candy Man.

Game Master went first and did great! Candy Man went next and did great (although the dentist wants him to see an orthodontist right away due to his thumb/finger sucking - I guess this shoots down my previous post about this!!). Papa did terrible! Actually, it wasn't him. He played it really cool, since the boys were watching. The dentist was extremely rough on him. He scraped his gums all to pieces. I watched as his assistant suctioned the blood out of his mouth! It was awful! Big tough Papa had to come home and take some Tylenol!

Now, with that story being told... how in the world am I suppose to go see this same dentist one week from now? Pretty Princess and I are scheduled to go next week. I have the "we are paying for this I have to do it" on one side. I have the "ain't no way I'm going through that" on the other side. I have the "you aren't having any dental problems, maybe you should just cancel it" on the justification side.

What in the world am I going to do!??

What is the deal?

Hello? Anyone out there that can help me?

Why is my information all the way at the bottom instead of at the right of my blog posts? When did that happen? How can I fix it??

Look what happened!

It happened! Finally!

Candy Man is going to the dentist tomorrow. He was scared that the dentist would pull his tooth - it's been loose for awhile now. He was afraid it would hurt. So he let me and Game Master have a go at it!

I got it out pretty easily! I can't believe I did it! Oooooo! I'm not good at these things. Papa is suppose to be the one to do it! Of course, he was at work.

He was so excited when the tooth came out. He called Papa and told him. He called Grandma and Grandpa (and even talked on the phone with their dog to tell her!). Of course we had a photo shoot to document the whole event! Then he saw the pictures on the computer and started to cry! He said he looks ugly!

Anyway, I introduce to you...... the new Candy Man:

Lazy Blogger?

I feel like a lazy blogger! Am I?

I have been busy. It hasn't had the pull that it had before.

Is it me? Is it just because I have more fun things to do? Is it because I'm too busy? Is it because I can't think of anything to say?

I don't know!

Maybe it is that I started trying to put myself in a box with all the different memes going on - Sunday Scripture, Saturday Photo Hunt, Wednesday Works for Me, Thursday Thanks Tank, Friday's Everyday Things, Tuesday's Treasures (okay...I don't think I ever did that one... but I meant to!). Then I'd feel guilty because I didn't get a post on that day...then the next...and the next.

Forget it! I'm starting fresh! Originally, I had meant for this to be my journal - what was going on in our life, my thoughts, whatever I was feeling that day - that kind of thing. I was enticed to do other things and got overwhelmed.

At least, that is what I think...

And so, I'm starting again! I'm blogging when I want to, what I want to, and for me! Who cares if anyone reads it or comments? That is not why I'm doing this! (I must keep reminding myself of this!)

Simple. Keep. It. Simple.

Pretty Princess's big day!

My Pretty Princess is growing up! I can't believe it, but today we took her for her first day of preschool! I know, she is four years old - I just can't believe it!

I think a big part of what I can't believe is that we homeschool and are sending her to preschool!! Game Master went to public school one year. That is it. We've never done preschool, daycare or anything!

Why are we sending Princess to school?

*The main reason is because she isn't interested in learning from me! She won't let me read books to her. She won't let me teach her. She learns better from others. We want what is best for each of our children, and just feel this will be best for her - at least for this year.

*Of course, another benefit will be how much easier it will be to homeschool the boys. Princess won't have to go on all our treks (she spends so much time sitting waiting on the boys to be done with PE, soccer/basketball/baseball, play practice, or whatever class they are taking...). It will give me more opportunities with them.

We missed her while she was at school this morning. She absolutely loved it! She can't wait to go back on Monday! I'm so proud of her!

Over the river and through the woods...

Life here has been so busy lately. It's a good thing though. We've had a bit of a boring summer up until the last few weeks. It's good to get out and have some fun!!

This weekend we visited my dad's family in Ohio. We stayed with my grandmother. It was the first time I'd ever stayed at her house with all three children!

We visited Serpent Mound. The kids enjoyed that. Candy Man got a real Arrowhead necklace from the gift shop. He's shown everyone he comes in contact with ever since! They also had a snake exhibit that day. The boys especially liked talking to the park ranger about the venemous snakes!

My grandmother then took the kids shopping to buy them each a little something to play with. She has a pool and we went swimming every day.

On Sunday, after attending church with her, most of our family came over for dinner. We had a nice visit with each other, and got to meet our newest cousin too! It was good to see everyone. I wish we got to see them more often.

The 7 1/2 hour drive home made that wish lessen a bit though, I must say! Princess cried several times during the car ride wanting to go back to "Grandpa's" (for some reason she can't say Grandma!!).

Overall, it was a very nice weekend. I am glad to be home though!!

Candy Man saying...

The Candy Man is at it again!

CM, emphatically: "I'm soooo glad that I'm not a girl!"

Mama, with mild laughter: "Why are you glad that you aren't a girl?"

CM, dramatically: "Because I don't want to get pregnant! That would hurt!"

I know today is Thursday. Papa has the day off (making it harder to sneak and blog - he's gone to wash the car right now!), I'm taking the kids to Ohio tomorrow to see my grandmother (which leaves much packing & preparing to do), and I must do Princess's hair today (takes several hours!). I probably won't get around to blogging my Thanks Tank, but I am thankful! Especially for this.

Eventually things will return somewhat to normal with me! We've just been so busy lately - but with fun stuff, so that is good! Happy Thankful Thursday!

One of the greatest days...

I think that this past Saturday was one of the greatest days we've had in a long time - maybe ever! On Thursday evening, my cousin called and told us that her family was staying at a lake resort about an hour from us. They invited us to come over for the day - they were planning on renting a pontoon boat and spending the day on the lake! Papa had to work, but I knew it'd be great fun for me and the kids... so we said yes!

We were up early Saturday morning and on our way (with life jackets, towels, bathing suits, water skis, lots of food & drinks and dry clothes for later - you know, pretty much a van full - all for one day!). We arrived at the resort at 9:15am and after hugs all around, loaded up the boat for a day to remember!

Despite the overcast skies and the one little rain shower, it was a beautiful day! Not too hot, but warm enough to swim and do everything we would want to do! We rode the boat all over the lake! We went past Goat Island, the osprey nests, Rucker Beach (named after my great aunt & uncle). We spent time swimming on Sand Island and over at a new beach where Eagle Lodge used to be. We drove past Terrace View Resort, Silver Dollar Island, and up White's Creek. The kids went tubing all over the place! Game Master, Candy Man, and their oldest boy all tried water skiing! We picnicked, played in the sand, jumped off the boat, and walked the trail around Sand Island.

We ended the day with a late dinner outside at the resort, a game of "Horse" on the basketball court, and more hugs all around, before loading up and returning home!

More than anything, we enjoyed each other's company and played well together! I am so thankful for the time spent with my children and my cousins that day! It was so good to see family that we hardly ever get to spend any time with.

It will be a day never forgotten...