Thursday, August 17, 2006

Running on empty

Traditionally, today has been "Thursday Thanks Tank" for me. I'm so glad that Peach is still doing it! But since my blogging revival, I'm not holding myself to it anymore. It's a good thing, too, because today - I'm running on empty!

As you know, we homeschool. We officially got started in the middle of July. We've done a lot in the last month, but not enough with our curriculum (some, but we are now running behind where I had hoped to be at this point). Today, I was determined to get us headed in the right direction.

It did not go well. Actually, Candy Man did terrific! He got his work done early and had extra free time this afternoon.

Game Master was a bear! He cried. He yelled. He defied. He balked. He refused.

I tried compassion. I loved. I got frustrated. I got angry. I made threats. I took away the TV. I grounded him to his room for the rest of the day.

Well, this is looking to be a good year in school! NOT!

I am genuinely concerned for this child. He has always been my happy boy. A loving, caring, and compassionate child. He is well known for his heart for Jesus and his desire to tell others about Him. For years he has been one of the sweetest children I've ever met (and I'm not just saying that as his mother!).

Then he went to public school for 2nd grade. He repeatedly got his feelings hurt, since he was very obedient and kind to the other children, and they were so disobedient and unkind to him (not anymore than anyone else though). He couldn't understand what was wrong with those children. It was a very difficult year for him and we decided it'd be best for him to be homeschooled again.

Over the course of last year (3rd grade), he did really well with his schoolwork - finishing his curriculum in late February (quite early). His behavior was good. His attitude was good. Until March or April or so. I don't know what happened.

Since then, he has become an extremely unhappy child. He is frequently unkind, disobedient, and disrespectful. He is downright bored most of the time, rarely has fun doing anything, and doesn't want to do anything but watch TV, play Game Cube, or be on the computer.

My heart is breaking for him. I've tried everything I know to do. I'm really concerned for him. Today was the first day that I really have gotten angry with him. My frustration for his behavior and my not knowing how to help him all came together today.

Now I just don't know what to do...

Please pray for my son. I know he is in there somewhere.


Reverberate58 said...

Life is so hard for children! They get so frustrated yet not always to articulate what has them upset! I have a very moody child and I worry about him a lot. he has learned thru the years how to deal with his depression but it was only through years of counseling that he found how to not fall too low.

I will pray for your small boy and for you too! Thanks for stopping by and you are right it was an acorn. It just looked so huge in the picture next to the mushroom!

Jennifer said...

I have no words of advice or ideas of what could be going on but I can and will pray.
Spiritual warfare perhaps?

Peach said...

You've got my prayers, too, friend. I so know what you're going through. We've had lots of struggles here lately as well.

Anonymous said...

How can I put this? I am just a stranger on the internet, but I hope you will take me seriously.

Your son might need some help dealing with his emotions over the changes in his schooling. I speak from (reluctant) experience after going through something similar with my elementary school aged son. Sensitive children can be hit very hard by things like that, and react much the same way as an adult might to losing a job. Where we would urge an adult to see a doctor or counsellor for help, we often don't think of doing the same for a child.

I'm saying that sometimes it can be necessary to get kids some help too. For your own sake and your son's, please consider looking for some outside help. It makes such a difference when things start to turn back around. (Speaking from experience.)