Monday, January 12, 2009

2009 FOCUS

Each year I pray for God to show me a focus for the year - something that I need to learn about, work on, and grow in. A theme, so to speak.

2007 was my first year seperated from my husband of 11 years. That year was full of changes for me and my little ducklings. It was a very difficult year. My yearly focus was "SURVIVE". We did that, even if barely.

In 2008, I knew it was time to move on from just surviving and begin living life again. It seemed life was running me before that and it was time for me to live life with purpose again. My word for the year was "LIVE". It was a good year. God did grow me in this so much and I feel like it was a successful year.

I began praying in December for God to show me my "word" or focus for 2009. One word kept popping into my head and I kept throwing it back. I'm not sure what it is about it that I am rejecting. No, that isn't true - I'm not sure what it is He wants me to do with it! I'm fearful of what He may be preparing me for. The word is "LOVE". I'm hoping to learn about God's Love for me. I want to grow in my love for others. But there is a little part of me that fears that He is preparing me for a significant love in my life - like another husband. I'm afraid of myself. I'm afraid of another relationship. I'm just afraid! My friend Kendra has pointed out to me that I can't underestimate God to provide a great godly man that would be good for me and my children. This is true... I'm just not sure that I want a man in my life.

However, I have been able to see how it may be God's plan for our lives. (I say "our" lives, because I am a package deal now. A husband for me is a daddy for my ducklings. He'd have to be for all of us, not just for me.) And so, I've given it up to God (and keep giving it). I want what He wants. He knows that He has some changing to do in my heart to get me there.


This is my verse for this year: "No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." 1John 4:12 It is my desire for others to see God in me - for them to experience His love through me.

When reading this verse and a little past it, God shows me something else to grow in.... 1John 4:18 says, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." Well, okay. I guess He does need to work on me in this area...

So, this year is about "LOVE". I don't exactly know what all that looks like yet. But this I will begin with:

So, what is your focus for this year?

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Going away...

Yes, I am going away for a few days. I leave today and will be home Friday. It is so strange for me to leave my kiddies. I never leave them! Plus they have school and stuff. It will be okay though. My friend Megan is staying here with them and transporting them, feeding them and loving them while I am gone. I will miss them so much. What am I saying? I miss them already!

I am going to Atlanta for a conference with my job. I'm going with my dad. It will be good to spend some time with him - and to get some training on this new computer program they've just started.

Please pray for my ducklings to be on their best behavior for Miss Megan and for everything to go smoothly here!

Monday, January 05, 2009

Wonderful Couple of Weeks!

We have had an incredibly wonderful Christmas break! We've spent some busy, fun time with family in Kentucky and in Tennessee. We've had an extremely fun and relaxing week at home. We've been healthy the whole time (must be a first!). We've all been easy-going, well rested, well fed, and happy! What more can you ask for!?

Tomorrow, we are back to the real world! Back to the crazy schedule - the 5:30 a.m. mornings (will my body do that after this week!?!?) - the go, go, go, gotta hurry... I've loved spending this time with my children and I truly don't want it to end. I know that it has to. I have worked very little during the past 2 weeks (and that isn't good for paying the bills, you know?). It has been a wonderful vacation though.

How much longer until Spring Break? Or even better, summer break!?