Each year I pray for God to show me a focus for the year - something that I need to learn about, work on, and grow in. A theme, so to speak.
2007 was my first year seperated from my husband of 11 years. That year was full of changes for me and my little ducklings. It was a very difficult year. My yearly focus was "SURVIVE". We did that, even if barely.
In 2008, I knew it was time to move on from just surviving and begin living life again. It seemed life was running me before that and it was time for me to live life with purpose again. My word for the year was "LIVE". It was a good year. God did grow me in this so much and I feel like it was a successful year.
I began praying in December for God to show me my "word" or focus for 2009. One word kept popping into my head and I kept throwing it back. I'm not sure what it is about it that I am rejecting. No, that isn't true - I'm not sure what it is He wants me to do with it! I'm fearful of what He may be preparing me for. The word is "LOVE". I'm hoping to learn about God's Love for me. I want to grow in my love for others. But there is a little part of me that fears that He is preparing me for a significant love in my life - like another husband. I'm afraid of myself. I'm afraid of another relationship. I'm just afraid! My friend Kendra has pointed out to me that I can't underestimate God to provide a great godly man that would be good for me and my children. This is true... I'm just not sure that I want a man in my life.
However, I have been able to see how it may be God's plan for our lives. (I say "our" lives, because I am a package deal now. A husband for me is a daddy for my ducklings. He'd have to be for all of us, not just for me.) And so, I've given it up to God (and keep giving it). I want what He wants. He knows that He has some changing to do in my heart to get me there.
This is my verse for this year: "No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." 1John 4:12 It is my desire for others to see God in me - for them to experience His love through me.
When reading this verse and a little past it, God shows me something else to grow in.... 1John 4:18 says, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." Well, okay. I guess He does need to work on me in this area...
So, this year is about "LOVE". I don't exactly know what all that looks like yet. But this I will begin with:
So, what is your focus for this year?