Thursday, March 13, 2008

I have been restored!

I have been trying all week to get time and determine how to tell you about what happened earlier this week. Then all of a sudden this morning I just felt like I had to tell my "Daughters of the King" small group leader about it. I wrote it all out and sent it to her in an e -mail. Now I'm going to share it with you!

As you know, I’ve been doing the Beth Moore Bible Study with the Tuesday morning group. I did the last day’s homework on Monday night and it was an INCREDIBLE experience! God used it to reveal a stronghold in my life (which we have been hearing about at church and at our DOK small group!). One that I keep coming back to – over and over. And I really had never recognized it as a stronghold!

As briefly as possible – we were studying Psalm 132:1-10. But to understand the passage, she took us back through the Old Testament to read about what led up to this Psalm. Basically, it was a story of David’s heart and passion for God and his wanting to find the Ark of the Covenant and bring it to a permanent place in Jerusalem. They looked, but didn’t find it where they thought it would be. Then when they found it they put it on a cart attached to oxen to haul it. At one point on the journey it started to slide off and a man close by (Uzziah) put his hand on it to steady it and he died! This scared and angered David so much that he abandoned the trip and left the ark there. Eventually, he heard of the blessings that God was pouring out on the household where the ark had been left, and he got back on track and after studying the proper way of transporting the ark, continued the journey to bring the ark home.

This stood out to me as myself!! I was a married woman – seeking after the heart of God. I was praying and praying and doing everything that I thought God wanted of me. Despite my miserable marriage, I had joy in the Lord and faith in Him for my future. Then all of a sudden, He did something that I didn’t expect of Him. He ended my marriage instead of healing it! I was scared and angry. I tried to abandon my journey as a Christian because of it. I tried to take my life into my own hands. I was too afraid to trust Him!

I’ve done this before. Any time that God “behaves” in a way that is inconsistent with whom I think He is or should be, I freak out and “abandon the journey”. Of course, the good news is He doesn’t abandon me and I always come back to Him.

Anyway, Monday night I spent an amazing time in prayer and quietness before Him. I feel like He has restored me to the faith that I’ve known before. I am so grateful and in love with Him!

I just had to share that with you!!


Pam said...

Wow! I am so incredibly thrilled to hear how God is using this study to draw you to Himself and to reveal Himself in new ways to you!

I got chills as I read what you've learned, and then I smiled really big because I was just thinking yesterday it's been such a long time since I've seen your sweet face that I wished you'd post something new of you . . . and there you are!

You look lovely, my friend, and I love you in pink -- not something I've seen much on you before. Maybe having the princess is rubbing off on you?

Have a blessed day, and thank you so much for sharing what you're learning. It encouraged me as well.

Tennessee Mama Duck said...

Having the Princess has rubbed off on me!! I used to love red (still do), but now I love pink even more! Who would've thought!?

Just one of many ways having a girl has changed me!

Jennifer said...

I do the same thing and it irks me so much. I blame it on God and feel like He's let me down and betrayed me when really bad stuff happens. I want to be like Job and say (my paraphrase) The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord. There's definitely some psychological stuff going on with all of that.