Going Crazy as a Mother

Okay. So I wrote that title and now I realize what it sounds like! Sorry! I really don't mean it like in the way a really bad word would come next. I just mean that as a mother, I'm going crazy!!

I have this child...let's see... Can you guess which one?

He is driving me crazy. Or more likely, I'm letting him drive me crazy! I'm trying really hard to stay on top of his discipline. It seems like he is totally out of control - most of the time. He can be so mean and terribly disrespectful. He lacks any regret of his actions. It is really disturbing. It is so exhausting!

Twice this weekend he got to go over to a friends for awhile to play. I can't tell you how calm and peaceful our home was during that time. Even CandyMan commented about it. He usually can't stand to see his brother go anywhere. He wants to be with him at all times. That wasn't the case this weekend. CM was relieved to have a break and said so!

But with each return of GM, everything was out of whack! He was yelling, screaming, name calling, picking, hitting, threatening, crying, tantrum throwing, lying out of control! I hate to admit this, but I'm NOT exaggerating! It was really terrible. He is so emotional (mostly angry). He's just mad about not getting his way. It doesn't matter how big or how small the issue is - he can't handle being told no. I'm almost scared of him.

We've been seeing the pediatrician in the last month about this behavior and have another appointment on Thursday. It seems like I ask for prayer for him all of the time. Please pray for me too! I need wisdom and strength to continue dealing with him.

Busy Day!

Today is a big busy day for us! It is all good stuff, it's just ALL on one day!!

I have my Bible Study this morning. I'm really hoping to get to go to lunch with Lisa afterwards! She's been sick and I miss her so much!

I'm picking the kids up early from school and taking them to their new school for testing. I'm not sure what to expect with this - written, oral, both?? I'm sure they will do fine. I'm more nervous about it than they are - I'm sure!

After that, we have to go and get Missy Prissy signed up for summer school. Her teacher recommended this in January and even though she is doing tremendously better, I still think it would be good for her. Today is the only day to get signed up for that.

Then GameMaster has Aikijuitsu (Martial Arts). He's loving it so much. He knows he's got to be close to getting his first colored belt (yellow). He's awaiting that with much anticipation!!

At some point in all of that, I'm hoping for enough time to do the drive-through dinner thing for them.

From now until school is out the calendar is so busy! We have all of the normal things, plus more. Besides that, it is one of my job's busiest time of the year. Which is good. I have plenty of work to do. I'm hoping to "bank" some extra to get through the summer, since the kids will be home all summer with me!

Okay, for my prayer request... You guessed it! Please pray for GameMaster. He's come home early from school twice in the last week. Both times he says he's gotten sick. Then he's fine when he gets home. I'm starting to wonder if he is making himself get sick so he can come home?!?

After today, there are 21-1/2 days left of school. Then we are out of there!!

One more reason that I hate public school

I am so glad my children will not be attending public school next year. I just can't get them out of there fast enough! Today's example:
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Today is the big day for GameMaster, my fifth grader. You know, the day when they seperate the boys from the girls and show them a video that teaches about their changing bodies. You know, the birds and the bees.

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Well, being a concerned parent, I want to know what is in this video. Excuse me if I've made too big of a deal about it! I want to know what my child is being taught!!

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I'm SURE that they won't mention that GOD had anything to do with it!

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So, anyway...a permission slip was sent home for me to sign to allow him to participate in seeing this video. (I guess the children who aren't given permission will have to stay in the classroom and miss it.) I talked to GM about it. He was kind of excited about the video and looking forward to it (which I thought was kind of cute). So I signed the slip and sent it back to school. Here is where I "messed up"...

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I e-mailed his teacher asking if I could just be there during the showing of the video. I wasn't planning on making a big production of it or telling my own testimony or anything!! I just wanted to sneak in the back of the room and watch it with them. GM was not only okay with this, he wants me to be there!! (Of course we've already talked about all this stuff and it won't be anything "new" to his ears. I'm just curious as to what they are teaching.)

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I received an e-mail back the next day from his teacher explaining to me that she had consulted with the principal about this (?!?!?). Basically, the answer was NO - I could not watch it with the students!

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Okay. What is the deal? I'm ever increasingly aware of the principal's attitude toward me. It is very clear that I am a "problem parent"!! I think this is hilarious! I care about what junk is being put into my children's brains. I don't trust the school to teach them what I want them to be taught!! I'm NOT sorry that I don't want them to be just another number in public school. I'm NOT sorry that I want the very best for them. I'm NOT sorry that I don't want my 5th grader told that it's okay to have sex, as long as he wears a condom! (I'm not saying that this is what he will be told today, but I don't know - since I'm not allowed to be there!!!)

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But this I can rejoice in: GameMaster wants me to be there. He feels comfortable talking to me about this. He will come home and share with me what he heard (even what all the boys in class had to say about it all). Why? Because, as he said this morning: "I'm just more comfortable with you, Mom."

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Thank you, God!

Poor Lulu!

My friend Lisa just recently introduced me to a local tea room called LuLu's Tea Room. I have only gotten to go there once for lunch, but have looked forward to returning! It is such a sweet place with really yummy food that leaves you feeling satisfied.

Unfortunately I heard on the news last night that LuLu's had a fire yesterday! One report says that 75% of the inside of the building is damaged. I'm so sorry to hear this. It is not an easy thing to go into business for yourself and work so hard everyday as I know this woman has done. Deana Hurd opened the tea room just 2 years ago. I hope to see her re-open LuLu's soon!

Can We Talk?

My Bible Study group has reconvened! We began a new study last week. It is, "Can We Talk?" by Priscilla Shirer. I have completed the first week and look forward to going to our group time this morning.

The study has been difficult for me this week. I don't know what is wrong with me. The last day of the study was on Hebrews 13:15-16. It talks about giving a sacrifice of praise. It isn't that I am going through some difficult struggle right now. I just feel blah. I don't know why. So, I am going to praise - even if I don't feel like it!!

My friend Lisa is sick. She has a bad cold and has been sick for almost a week now! She isn't going to bible study today. I will miss her so much! Especially our lunch and afternoon talking!! I think we both need this so bad. There is nothing like a good godly friend to talk things through with, is there? Get better soon, my friend...

Cinderella

Have you heard the new song by Steven Curtis Chapman? It is called "Cinderella". Go here to hear it: http://www.stevencurtischapman.com/cinderella.htm. I wish I knew how to put it on this page, but oh well!

This song makes me sad for my Princess. Lately, I've been mourning the lack of man in my children's life. I don't want one right now. I'm not ready. But they are. They need a godly man to love them and show them the way.

A week ago at church I saw two boys come up to the altar to pray during church. A few moments later I saw their dad come and pray over them. I bawled.

Later this week they are having the sex ed talk at school in GameMaster's grade. I've been the one to talk to him about all of these changes that are coming for him. It seems like it'd be good for him to have a man to talk to about it. I'm glad he can talk to me about it though.

Missy Prissy dances with me. It's fun and we both love it. Imagine how she'll feel someday when a boy will dance with her. I wish she had a godly man to dance with now...

I know that God is the father of the fatherless. And I do see ways that He takes care of my children as a father would. I guess I just want more for them - you know?

Blah.

Today is a blah day. I feel blah. It is blah outside (45 degrees I might add!).

Just blah. That is all I have to say.

The Smell of Sweet Victory!

PEACE AT MY HOUSE!!

He did it! He came straight home from school and mowed the grass! No complaining! No crying! No nasty talk! No rebellion! I didn't even have to tell him to! And he feels good about it! (so do I!)

Moving Forward...

I met with Missy Prissy's teacher this morning to discuss her progress and recommendation for next year. Her teacher was so excited to talk to me! Missy has just taken off in the couple months! She's writing full sentences - really well. And most importantly she is reading!! Her teacher recommends sending her on to first grade!

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I also talked with her about Missy's "La-La Land" episodes. She feels certain that she is just day dreaming with her wide imagination (which is what all "professionals" have told me when I talk to them about this). So, I'm going with it!

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I'm going to see about getting her into FBA with the boys for next year!!

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Now we'll see how GameMaster does after school today with the mowing...

How many licks?

Remember those commercials when we were kids about the Tootsie Roll pops? "How many licks until you get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop? 1.... 2.... CRUNCH!" I always loved that commercial, but didn't care for the tootsie roll! I was the opposite - I'd eat the sucker off and throw away the tootsie roll inside. Now, a blow pop...that is another story!!

Why I am thinking of that commercial right now? I have no idea!! I have just finished DAY FOUR with GameMaster mowing the grass. This is a new chore for him this year. Unfortunately, his mother suffered through it last year and he's taken my attitude towards it. (It is very hard to present a task positively to your child - "This will be fun!!" - after complaining about doing it yourself. Lesson to learn...)

So I gave him a choice, he can mow the whole yard all in one day and have the rest of the week off. Or he can come home and mow a small section of the yard almost every day. He chose the later (I can't say that I blame him).

So today was DAY FOUR. I am going to say this as sweetly as I can. He is driving me crazy! He's making it miserable on himself! ALL FOUR DAYS he has cried and carried on. He's been rude, disrespectful and rebelliously disobedient. Then after several disciplines he goes and mows his small section for the day.

THEN he comes in with a terrific attitude!! He feels so great about himself. He is genuinely proud of his accomplishment! One day, he even decided to be so kind and mow the front yard of my neighbor (a fellow single mom with a broken lawn mower)! (Mind you, he went through the whole tantrum throwing that day before mowing too!)

How many licks will it take for this child to just buck up and get it done? Can't he see that he is wasting his precious evening play time with his shenanigans? But, alas. I must go. Missy Prissy is disobediently playing with the water hose for the blasted fifth time in two days.....

I'm Busted!

I've hurt myself again! This time it's my own fault! Learn from my mistake - never wear flip flops in the rain!

There I was bebopping into the bank with GameMaster, we were giggling and having a good ole time walking through puddles to get there. I hit a slick spot and went smack to the ground. I don't remember much about it, except my face meeting the pavement and not being able to breathe for a few seconds. I remember looking up and seeing the contents of my purse splattered all over the road and thinking that I was blocking traffic. (The thoughts we have in these moments amaze me!)

After I could breathe again, I somehow got up and limped to the sidewalk. GameMaster helped me find somewhere to sit down and catch my breathe. He was totally freaked out - poor guy! My left knee was quickly swelling and turning all kinds of nasty shades of blue, black, purple and pink. I was much more concerned at this point about my right ankle, which yelled at me every time I tried to move it at all.

So today, I am limping with a sprained ankle and a busted knee. I'm bruised all over and quite sore. On a better note, GameMaster was affected deeply by the fall and has barely left my side with wanting to help me. He's been a total sweetheart!

So, I'm all busted up and black and blue. I'll be okay. But why is it when you type in "umbrella" to do a search for photos, it pulls up all these beach umbrellas? Boy, I'd sure love to be using one of those umbrellas today instead!!

I am chosen?

I've been reading the book of Isaiah in my quiet times. So many verses talk about being chosen by God (especially in chapters 41-45). It is confusing to me. I know that we have our own will and can go our own way. But it also says, "many are invited, but few are chosen" (Matt 22:14).

Than of course there is this verse, "In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory." (Eph 1:11-12)

So how much of this life is our choice and how much is His choice? And is there a cut and dry answer to this question? Do we even know? What are your thoughts?

Missy Prissy's Family Tree!?

You know what? We haven't called her Princess since almost the beginning of this blog, so I'm officially changing her name! We call her "Missy Prissy". And it fits. Well!!

So, here is the deal. I've heard other adoptive parents complain about "family" assignments in school. These assignments are just not set up for families nowadays! What about the adopted child? What about the child with divorced parents? What if those parents have remarried? What if one of their parents have died? What about the child who is being raised by their grandparents (it's happening a lot now!)? This just aggrevates me.

So what am I doing about it? Stalling! That is what I'm doing. The "family tree" assignment is due tomorrow and looks like this:

Now, this could be a really sweet assignment for some kids. One you'd want to frame and hang in their room. Maybe Missy Prissy will want to do just that...who knows!

But her family tree is much more complicated than this. I feel like by putting my picture and MIA Papa's picture on there is leaving out so much. I don't think that she will feel that way - at least not yet. But maybe she will someday. And how would her birthparent's feel? Wouldn't they want to be apart of her family tree too?