Thursday, February 07, 2008

Woe to me?

Oh no! I've been saying that for too long! No woe to me anymore!

That is the title of yesterday's bible study: Woe to me! We studied Psalm 120. She gave us permission to have a "woe to me" moment with God concerning some of the things we've been enduring. I guess I'm done with that, because all I could do was praise Him through this Psalm!!

Psalm 120 is about asking for God's help for deliverence from a liar and deceiver; and God's punishment for them and protection for us. She told us it was okay to complain to God. Well...been there...done that.

All I could think was that He has delivered me from a liar. Listen to the first two verses... This was the cry of my heart for the last two years of my marriage...

I'm in trouble. I cry to God,
desperate for an answer;
"Deliver me from the liars, God!
They smile so sweetly but lie through their teeth."
You know what? He answered that prayer! So what have I been complaining about? Here's what... MY PLAN was for Him to answer that prayer by making my husband into the man of integrity that I longed for him to be. Well, I guess he wasn't willing to be that. So, God delivered me anyway. It just isn't what I thought it'd look like. I haven't really and truly realized this so clearly before this week.
God set me free.
Now, my life may still be hard. I may still be poorer than I've ever been. I may still be a single parent with three children and not enough time, energy, arms, eyes, laps, instructions, advice, etc..., etc... to meet all their needs. I may still get so lonely. But I can still rejoice in the fact that...
God heard me.
I honestly didn't think He was listening to me anymore. Now I understand. He heard me. It may not look like what I wanted, but it's still okay. I have freedom in Christ. Freedom from the bonds of deception and lies in my own home. And I can praise God for my circumstances!
(Somebody remind me of this post the next time I get on the self pity kick...)

1 comment:

Pam said...

I got big, huge tears in my eyes as I read this my precious friend.

No, your deliverance did not take on human likeness, but you HAVE been delivered and what peace that brings with the Deliverer.

I am SO, SO glad you are getting to go through this study at the same time with me. I so wish we could hole up in some closet (hee, hee) and chat for hours about it together.

I miss you, sweet Mama Duck. I've somehow lost your phone number, but email me and we'll get connected, ok?