God is my everything!

Do I believe that? Honestly? No. I just can't figure that one out.

I do know that I wanted my husband to be my everything. Obviously he could never fulfill that expectation. And so I was in constant disappointment over him and his lack of fulfilling me. (Not fair to him. I know.)

So, now who or what can be my everything?

In today's Bible Study, Psalm 121:1 says:

"I raise my eyes toward the mountains.

Where will my help come from?"

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My paraphrase is, "I look at all of my problems. Where can I get help? Who will help me?" I used to want my husband to help me. He didn't. He couldn't. He wouldn't. I certainly can't even look for him to help me now.

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Who will help? I certainly need help. I think my biggest need right now is that I need someone to help me encourage my oldest son at school. He is discouraged and just trying to get by in his schoolwork because he doesn't like all of the work. He's bored with all of the busy work. I can't get it into his head the importance of his education. I think he needs a man in his life as an example of this and teaching him this. I'm his mom. He doesn't want to hear it from me anymore, you know? He is so discouraged and he needs more than just me.

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Well, it is no one elses responsibility to be this for my son. I am doing the best that I know to do. I'm talking with his teacher almost daily. I'm talking with him daily. I'm praying all day for him. What else can I do? Who else CAN help?

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Psalm 121:2 says,

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"My help comes from the LORD,

the Maker of heaven and earth."

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So, I get that. My help comes from God. GameMaster's help comes from God. What does that look like? How can God help him if he doesn't want God's help? I think this is my bigger concern anyway... It seems like his heart has hardened so much over the last few years. This saddens me more than anything else!! He used to be such a happy, expressive Jesus-follower. Now, his faith is hurt. I've encouraged and encouraged and prayed and prayed (and will not give up praying and encouraging...).

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Psalm 121 assures me that God is my Maker and my Protector. I even believe that for myself today. I must believe that it is true for my GameMaster too...please protect him and bring him back to you, God.

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Who (or what) is your everything?