Sunday, November 05, 2006

A long awaited update?

Well, here it is - a whole month later. I didn't expect that it was going to take me this long to return to the blog world. Lack of time and a desperate need for sleep have kept me away so long.

So, here it is. I'm getting a divorce. I really can't believe it myself. I'm a Christian and believe in the sanctity of marriage. I don't believe in getting a divorce just because your not happy. I've encouraged other women to work it out and stick together! And here I am.

Surprisingly, I have incredible peace about it all. I've prayed more in the last month than I've prayed in a while. I know that God is taking care of me and He's not abandoned me. In fact, I feel His presence and love more!

Don't get me wrong, I certainly have shed some tears... especially for my little ducklings! It is almost like mourning a death. I am disappointed... and hurt... and angry... and determined (to do the best I can for my children). And I'm so tired!

I've gone from working one day a week (Papa's day 0ff), to working 3-4 days per week. I take the boys with me and they do their school work there. Princess is in extended care at school now. We run, run, run everywhere to get it all done by ourselves!

AND! In the midst of it all, I'm house hunting! Looking for that perfect house in the perfect neighborhood, for a miniscule price.

It is all so exhausting. I'm learning how to be a career woman again. I'm oh-so-bummed about putting my boys into school at the first of the year. I was a single mom in many aspects before Papa moved out a month ago, but now it is real - not only in action, but the full weight of it is heavy.

I can survive. The Lord is my strength.

3 comments:

meLanie said...

You have been on my heart and it goes out to you. Two truths that you have, He will not abandon you and He alone, not yours, is your strength. He alone is always there and always understanding. My prayers are with you, for the strength and the wisdom and to simply let your heart go to Him. In His love-Melanie

Peach said...

Bless you, my precious friend. You know my heart and my ear is open if you want to talk. In the meantime, know I am beseeching our Lord on your behalf and on behalf of your precious ducklings.

May God continue to carry you and hold you close to His side.

I love you.

Lisa Johnson said...

God has not let you leave my mind, since you sat with the kids when mom and dad had their accident. I could feel so much confusion and sadness in you that day. I knew things must have been very bad, again. I have tried to contact you by phone several times. Then Dennis's brother died and things have been a blur. But still, God has kept you at the forefront of my mind. I will continue to call until you pick up that phone.
No matter what Satan tries to tell you, you are a survivor. You have worked so hard and long at your marriage, you have given it your all and then some. God is the reason you stayed so long and worked so hard. He knew long ago what the outcome would be, and he knew that you would need to know that you did everything you could to save it. So he gave you time, energy, support and everything you needed to be able to walk away when the time came with your head up, your heart and head open only to him, knowing that you gave everything you had to to make it work. So grieve, you need to. But please do not block us out to what is happening to your life, because we have lived alot of your marriage with you, and we love you. I'm sorry your marriage did'nt work out, but I am so glad you are trusting God with future. It must be very scary to not know his plan, for your day to day, (remember, I'm just like you, anal) but I can promise you this....

I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future...........Jer 29:11

Please remember this promise to you from God, he knows it all. He knows where you are going to live, He knows how you are going to make it financially, he knows how well your children are going to turn out, He knows how well you will turn out, becaused he saved you and you are HIS. He knows you and your circumstances very well, so that means you don't have too. Just trust him, he will give you only his best as you need it.
I Love you, and will be praying for you. I will pray for your peace of mind and for your comfort.

Please call me.
Lisa