We wish you a very happy 2008!

I am praying for an AMAZING year for me and my little ducklings!

I know this last year has been our most difficult and I am able to see how far we've come. My main focus has been on my children and their healing and well-being. This year I'm going to add the focus of my healing and well-being.

I know that God has big things in store for us this year and I can't wait to see what happens!

Our theme for this year:

LIVE

LAUGH

LOVE

All at the same time!!

You are fired!

Well, I did what I thought was right.

I stood up for integrity.

I got fired for it.

I refuse to regret it.

God is using it to draw me nearer to Him. I trust Him.

We have been praying (begging may be a better word for it)... for another way. I have been unhappy in my job. I have been missing my children and feeling the need to be with them more. I think this is an answer to our prayers.

Bad timing (single mom, three kids, a week before Christmas). Definitely hurt my pride (I've never been fired before!). I was quite shocked at the way it all happened (I didn't do anything wrong. He even told me that I'll have no problem finding another job, since I'm such a great employee!?!?).

Wow. That is all I had to say. Wow.

Please pray for us as we seek God for His new way for us. I hope and pray for a way of financial provision where I can be home more for my children....

Be careful not to get caught up in the whole holiday busyness. People are more important than wrapping paper, decorations, cookies, laundry, dishes, traveling, arranging schedules...etc, etc... Don't miss the joy and the gift of our Savior Jesus during this time. I know I'm sure looking for Him in every moment today!!

The truth

I’m so sad about the person that I’ve become. I used to be sold-out for Jesus. Nobody could affect my attitude, because I was in love!! Everything that I did was for Him.

What happened? Why am I struggling so much to get that attitude back? I am harboring bitterness in my heart because of my silly circumstances. I am falling for the lie that since I can’t be a stay at home mom anymore that I’ve lost my purpose and can’t be what God wants of me. I am allowing Satan to have a stronghold on me, which I despise. I am letting life run me, instead of letting God run my life. Before, God had me in His Hands. Now, I feel like so much is up to me. I feel the burden of responsibility on my shoulders and can’t figure out how to let it go.

Most of the time, I feel like I am doing fine…surviving, you know? And then I read an e-mail or someone sends a card and I fall apart. It reminds me of how far away I am from God right now. So many times I say that I miss my old life. But friends remind me of how difficult that time really was with my husband. I realize now that I miss my old self and that relationship I had with Him.

Okay, I guess I needed to unload. I’m sorry. But needless to say, please pray for me. I miss my Lord…

A favorite saying

Heard today from one of my children...

"Mom, today was a really great day!! Well.....except for the parts that you weren't there."

Bless his heart! I love him so much!!

My holiday wish list is...

Prayer.

That is what we need.

We need:

Strength.

Perserverance.

Wisdom.

Guidance.

Peace.

Joy?

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your families!!

Asking for another way...

I know. I know. I need to update my blog again. Life is crazy as a single mom. In fact, I don't know how working moms that are married do it all! Oh, I guess they don't. Of course, truth be known, I didn't "do it all" as a stay at home mom either. But, boy! I came a lot closer! I sure felt a lot better at the job I was doing as a mom!

My oldest, Game Master, has a really tough teacher this year. It isn't the academics that are the problem (he made honor roll). It is her personality. They are really conflicting with each other. I met with the principal last week and requested a transfer to another class. I haven't heard back from her yet. It was pretty doubtful that I'd get my wishes...

Candy Man is doing great. He is still my sweet boy (except when other kids are watching now). He won a Citizenship Award at school for his sweetness.

Pretty Princess is doing well too. She's struggling with writing in school, but is catching on. I used a 'relaxer' on her hair for the first time on Saturday night and am really excited about the results! So much easier to do her hair now!

Me? Well, I'm tired. I'm lonely. I'm stressed, most of the time. I'm bored a lot of the time. But it's all okay. I am getting better at this. I know we'll be okay. I miss a lot of my old life, but it doesn't do any good to dwell. We are still praying for "another way". There has got to be another way for me to make income and still be home more (or full time) with my children. But God has to bless it. We are asking him to show us another way, if it be His will...

Thank You, Don!!

I have to take a minute to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU to my friend's husband Don! He's been reading my blog and saw where I had asked for help. My yard looks better this evening than it has since I've moved in! It is so pretty - so evenly cut. I'm so thankful for the blessing he has given me.

And! He left a bag of clothes for my daughter on the front porch too! I'm so thankful for you, Don & Leeann!!

One of my children cried all the way home after picking them up from daycare (just a bad day....again). Two of them were arguing and fighting (over a water bottle for goodness sake!). When we pulled up to the house and they saw where someone had mowed the yard for us, the car got so quiet! They were stunned. All three children just kept asking, "who did it, mom?" It was a sweet blessing for them to hear that God had sent a friend to help mommy. The whole tone of our evening changed in that moment. The water bottle was shared, they helped each other with carrying their backpacks in. They are now quietly playing upstairs together and talking.

This sweet act of kindness may seem like a small thing to you, but it has affected me and my three in a much larger way...

Thank You! Thank You! I love you!!

I NEED HELP!!

Just a few weeks ago, I was out with two friends having coffee and they kinda lit into me about how I'm not asking for help when I need it...

Well, here is the thing...I feel like God hasn't given me more than I can handle, right? He knows where I am. He knew I'd be here. He's taking care of us. I can do this, right!??

Okay. Okay. How many times have I preached it (I'm sure YOU have heard it from me before yourself!!)... God uses others in our lives to help us. That is how we handle it. I know!

It's just that....I love to be used by God!! I want Him to use me in YOUR life!! I don't want to be needy!

But alas...I am. Maybe God can bless you by using you in my life. Here is the deal...I've done pretty good keeping my yard mowed all summer. (I admit that I have taken the drought as a personal blessing from God!! I am very serious!) But my grass is a bit too high due to the rain this week and I'm sick with sinus yuck! I tried to mow it this evening, and was coughing my head off the whole time. I had to quit. I barely made it into the house before throwing up. I had left the kids watching a little TV (this is one of my biggest obstacles to mowing...what do I do with my kids while I'm out there!?). They have now been traumatized! I jumped in the shower to try to cool myself off and stop the coughing/hacking/gagging/puking. It took several minutes, but I finally got myself under control.

Sorry to gross you out and all. So, I think it is obvious what my need is this week. I officially invite anyone over at anytime to mow my grass for me. I don't have to be here - help yourself! And so you know...the land behind and to the right of my mailbox (facing my house) is my property, almost to my neighbors fence and all the way to the curb.

I love you, my friends.

The latest!

I feel like my blog has become a way to update my friends. I guess that is okay. Some of you have been asking for it! So here it is...

Life is busy. Life is exhausting at our house... I'm managing to work one full time job, M-F, 8-5, at Hosenfeld Chiropractic. I worked there years and years ago and they are really close to my house. So this spring when I needed a job, it was natural to try there first. It made job hunting easy. I work in the Billing Office, which is seperate from their two locations where they see patients. Sometimes I fill in at their two offices working at the front desk, when people are out sick or whatever.

I've also been working from home part time for FAST Billing. I do medical billing from home in my spare time. Since school has started, I have very little spare time and don't know how much longer this job will be mine!

I also work from home part time for TSS Photography. My parent's own the local franchise and I work for them whenever I can to help them and make some extra money.

So, that is my three jobs.

Now for the "real" update... My children found out this week that their dad is getting remarried. It wasn't taken very well, to say the least. I called and asked Papa to come over and answer their questions and talk to them. They were withdrawing very quickly and I'm glad he came over. It forced them to deal with it. They still aren't happy about it, but they are talking about it, which is good.

Everyday is a challenge to keep each of them encouraged, motivated, and feeling loved. I have so little time with each of them individually. I'm learning how to make the time by staggering their bedtimes by age and keeping the older ones busy while spending some one-on-one with each child. I cherish this time with them. I think they do too...

I have had a couple of opportunities just this week to share my faith with friends, co-workers, and acquaintances. It feels good to be used by God, and not be the "needy" one all the time! October 1st will be the one year mark since Papa moved out and it all started. They say that the first year is the hardest. It has been really hard. I've thought many times that I wasn't going to make it. Those moments are becoming further and further apart now (Thank you God). I have hope!

The scoop on "daddy"

For the first time in a long time, GameMaster asked to call his daddy tonight. I've made a promise to never tell him no to this. And so I let him. They talked for over an hour. Mostly about SpongeBob episodes, I heard some joke telling, even some laughter. Never anything too serious. GameMaster was fine with it and I even heard him tell his daddy a couple times that he missed him.

CandyMan came in from playing outside and got to talk for a few minutes too. He's sort of oblivious...talked for a few minutes and then wanted off to get a snack.

He gave me the phone when he was done. He and I actually talked for a few minutes. I asked a lot of questions... Does Ashley have children? Has she been married before? How old is she? Does she want children? Have you set a date for the "wedding"? Where are you getting married? (Oh, did I tell you he's had a girlfriend? That he is living with her? And they are getting married? Yes, we've only been divorced for a month, you aren't mistaken...)

The answers were... no, no children. no, not married before. 23 (just!). yes, she wants children, but not for awhile. Yes, September 22 (this year!). In Gatlinburg.

Well, that is enough information for me for now.

I just can't get a break!

I was so excited this morning. Tomorrow is my birthday. This afternoon my mom was going to take my three little ducklings and pay for me to have my hair done (not just a quick cut like I try to slide into my schedule every 6-12 months!). I had actually found a babysitter (finally!) and was going out to dinner with a friend. It was all setup. What could go wrong!?

CandyMan threw up. Twice in the last hour. He's sick. Oh well. Cancelled the hair appointment. Cancelled mom. Cancelled the babysitter. Cancelled the friend. Going to stick around here all weekend and hold the bucket instead...

A better weekend!

This weekend was so much better than last weekend. Last weekend was spent at home with a dead car battery and a child in much pain! CandyMan's habits caught up with him and he ended up with three abscessed teeth and having to have surgery on Tuesday to fix him up. He's much better now.

We had friends over to play Friday night and to spend the night Saturday night. Today, we went to church and then to my parents...Grandma and Grandpa's house. They have bought a new pontoon boat! We had a picnic, went for a boat ride, swam in the lake, swam in their pool and ate homemade ice cream! What a day! It was beautiful too - just extremely hot!!

Back to the real world tomorrow... but it was a nice weekend!

We are Family!

Okay, so here is the good picture from my family reunion. I kinda like the silly picture better!! Ha! Click on the picture to enlarge it, if you want!

My wonderful family!

How can you beat a crazy family like this!?

My vacation...and right on time!

Well, that last post had to be the most depressing post ever! But things are okay! I was fortunate enough to be able to leave that Saturday after my divorce for a week's vacation!

We packed (and do I mean "packed") the van full of clothes, sand toys, food, etc... and headed to a lake resort (how appropriate for Mama Duck!) in Tennessee for a family reunion. We were there for a whole week - with around 60 family members! It was so awesome! I got to see family that I haven't seen in almost 20 years, and meet their children! My kid's had fifth cousins there from Utah and California! It really was phenomenal! I'll post pictures eventually.

I'm still so pumped up about it, or sad (one or the other!). Most of the time, I'm still glowing in the fun memories that were made last week. Or I'm suffering from seperation anxiety! There wasn't a moment last week (really!) where I was alone. Not for a moment. There were people everywhere. I connected to several cousins and spent every moment visiting with someone. I never had a quiet moment. And surprisingly, I loved it!

Now, that is all I have! Quiet. Alone. My boys are at Grandma and Grandpa's, since their daycare is closed this week. It is unbelievably boring around here.

I suppose I should be thankful. I have been sick with some funky stomach virus (or exhaustion?) since Friday and I can't shake it. Guess I'll do what I usually do...go to bed early.

...except with dreams of relaxing days on the lake and lots of laughter in the evenings....

Sad Duck

Well, this is it. It is my last night as a married woman. I've been married for 11 years, 4 months, 1 week, and a day (but who is counting). We've made three homes, three children, and a lot of memories (good and bad). And just like that...it's over.

I go to court tomorrow morning to finalize my divorce. My attorney says it will be "quick and easy". She's single, never been married, no children. She is not kidding me. This will be one of the worst days of my life.

I didn't get married thinking, "if it doesn't work out, I'll get a divorce". I was committing to spending my life, at all costs, with this man. I never imagined that there would come a day when he would not be committed to the same! That he would not do everything to fight any battle for me and his future children...

None-the-less, here I am. Tomorrow night, I will be single. Who, at 35 years old with 3 children wants to be single!? Not I.

TGIF

I don't think I ever really got that when I was a kid. I remember being in the car with my dad and listening to the "5 o'clock whistle" on the radio on Fridays. I'd laugh at how silly he acted over it. I had no clue.

In fact, as a stay-at-home mom for the last 10 years, I've had no sense of "Fridays". Everyday was a day spent doing what I wanted to be doing. My husband didn't have traditional "weekends" off anyway, so it was just no big deal.

Now, I work a full time job, Monday to Friday. My children are in childcare all day, Monday to Friday. Now I truly know the meaning of TGIF, "Thank God It's Friday!"

Watch out for those driggers!!

A recent conversation in the car...

Candyman: "Look, Gamemaster! There are those flowers that Grandpa said have driggers in them!"

MamaDuck: "Driggers!? What are driggers??"

Gamemaster: "You know, those bugs that bite you and suck your blood. They itch really bad!"

MamaDuck: "Oh! You mean chiggers!"

Looking for Christian Single Moms...

I am a Christian Single Mom. I'm looking for other blogs written by Christian Single Moms.

Can't find any.

I know. We really don't have time.

Just thought there might be someone out there who is like me....

If you know of one, send them my way (or vice versa).

Thanks.

It's a brighter day...

Isn't it amazing how much better a cleaner house can make you feel? (Notice I didn't say a "clean" house, since that's never gonna happen!) I spent an hour this evening tidying up and cleaning a bit. Not the whole house - just two rooms - the living room and kitchen.

I started a small group for single mom's a couple months ago and I've struggled with getting it going good. I realized that my main reason for that is trying to get my house ready for it!!! This past weekend I renewed my commitment to getting the group started by contacting some that are interested and inviting them to join us this week. Tonight, my hill to climb was to just clean up a bit so that I won't feel so much pressure coming home tomorrow to get ready! I get home at 6pm and the group starts at 6:30pm (and I have to feed my kids first!).

Oops! There I go again...poor me....

Must stop.

Poor Me...

Okay, I've wallowed in it long enough. I'm getting it all out now...

I'm a single mom. My divorce will be final in July. My husband has gone off the deep end and is spending money left and right, except not on his children or his home (which was foreclosed on last week). Our lives have been turned upside down. We've gone from: me being home full time, homeschooling - to me working one full time job and two part time jobs and the kids being is school and daycare ALL day. We've moved. Almost everything in our lives has changed.

But we are going to be okay. I've gotten in a rut in the last month - feeling sorry for myself! It is hard, I will admit. I don't have it down yet. My kids are suffering right now. But I know God's Grace is sufficient for us. We just have to accept it.

It is time for me to let go of the self-pity and move on. The pity is only hurting us worse. I must pick myself up and do something about it.

"With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26

My Pretty Princess

I had to show off my Pretty Princess. She was a flower girl in my brother's wedding two weekends ago. She was so beautiful. It only took me about four hours to do her hair!! At the end of the evening, one of her brother's poured a whole cup of confetti on top of her head. I was brushing it out for days...

God's Blessings

God has a funny way of blessing us sometimes. We have to look for them, or we will miss them. Lately, I've just been too exhausted and distracted to see them. However, yesterday was a bit too obvious!

I've been feeling down for the last week as my daughter's fifth birthday approached. I had to work and the children all had to go to daycare. I was so bummed about it. I miss spending my days with my children terribly. It is especially hard on their birthdays!

Well, I picked up the children and brought them home on Tuesday evening. I noticed that Kennedy wasn't talking much and she was acting a bit puny. By 6:45pm, I was taking her temperature. Sure enough! She had a fever - 102.6.

This may sound very strange, especially in light of previous posts as a stay at home mom, but I was THRILLED! This is one more upside-down change in our lives! I used to become greatly depressed when one of my little ducklings became ill. Now, with our first illness since becoming a single-working mom, I'm excited about a high fever!

Well, afterall, the next day was her birthday! We were able to spend the day together yesterday! I kept the boys out of daycare too. She didn't run a temp all day and seemed to feel fine! But the daycare rules are she can't attend within 24 hours of having a fever!

Funny, but by last night, her temperature spiked up again to 103.3! I gave her Ibuprofen and put her to bed. She woke me up at 4:30 this morning with a temp of 103.9! More Ibuprofen was given and we slept in! This morning, her temp is normal and she's watching a movie. I'm going to play with the boys!! ;)

Long time, no see...update

Wow. It's been a long, long time since I've visited this place. It used to be a place of purging for me. I honestly don't have time for it anymore. I want to though. Maybe just 10 minutes a night or two a week is doable...

Well, we go to court in a few weeks to finalize the divorce. I'm in shock about it really. I can't believe I'm getting a divorce. I don't believe in them.

We are all extremely exhausted, with end-of-school-year activities, work, etc... We went to Houston, TX last weekend for my brother's wedding. It was beautiful. We had a wonderful weekend, for the most part. Reality hit hard on Monday, with little sleep and back to school/work.

I'll update more later, but wanted to post a picture of me and my beautiful kids at the wedding. They are going through so many difficulties right now. I'm so proud of them. I pray we make it through this...

I'm home!

I'm moved in! (Well, I have a little more furniture to move tomorrow... but we are sleeping here!)

I'm amazed at much help that I had! With each new project needing to be done, God blessed me tremendously with friends and family to help me! I can't even express my graciousness to Him, and to those that He used in my life in the last month! It really has been amazing!

Well, back to cleaning and unpacking... Maybe I'll get back to regular scheduled blogging before long...

Tomorrow is Painting Day!

It seems like the day would never come. Wallpaper has been stripped. Holes have been patched. Cleaning and more cleaning and more cleaning has been done (and much more cleaning to do yet...). Doorknobs and windows have been taped off with plastic. All appliances have been taped. We are finally ready to paint!

Doppler Daddy and I have worked for over a week now on preparing the new house for painting. He has done so much of the dirty work (literally) and all of the high-up work (I'm scared!). I just don't know what I would do without him. I'm so thankful for my dad right now!

I'm more exhausted than I've been in a long time. Besides working on the house, I have worked two part-time jobs and taken care of three children. I admit, however, that McDonalds has seen us more than a few times this week!! Okay, Little Caesars Pizza twice too. I yearn for a hot cooked meal at home. It'll have to be at the new house, since I packed most of my dishes on Wednesday!!

So, get this! A good friend has gotten together a group of people from our church to come and paint the whole inside of the house tomorrow! She says 12 people are coming! One of them is a contractor who will be there with a paint sprayer and will spray all of the ceilings first!! I'm so blessed that these people are going to spend a Saturday out of such a busy month to help me! Oh! And did I mention that they have given me the paint???

I just can't hardly wait to see what it looks like at this time tomorrow!

I'm moving!

Yes, you may remember that my house was for sale earlier this year. Well, if you've read more recent posts, then you know that I'm moving for different reasons. God never ceases to amaze me - especially in difficult times!

I have two more weeks here before the kids and I will be in our new house. We got the keys this week and have begun the extreme-home-makeover process that is necessary when buying a 'used' house.

I'm so excited about the neighborhood! We were there all day yesterday - stripping wallpaper (fun! fun!). My little ducklings played outside all day, meeting the neighborhood kids. A game of touch football was played, scooters and bikes were ridden, a favorite card game was played. I'm so thrilled for my little ones - to have a neighborhood where there are other kids to play with! They've been lonely here.

Each time that I went to the window to check on them (every 5 minutes - ha!), I got teary-eyed! I am thrilled for them! I look forward to getting this messy work of painting/cleaning/packing/moving all done and settled into our new home! And just in time for Christmas!

Thank You, God!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I wish you and your family a very happy Thanksgiving! I pray that your family is blessed abundantly this holiday!

There is hope...

There is so much sadness in my heart right now. And yet, there is hope. I'm so thankful for the hope that God has given me. Especially through the encouragement of others - my parents, friends, family, church, even an occasional stranger!

Today, my blessing from God is in finding a new home for me and my children. We'll have enough space for all of us (and our stuff!). We'll have a yard to play in, even a cul-de-sac to ride scooters in! And we already know several neighbors. What a huge blessing this is for me! I even got a call today telling me that a family member is going to pay to have new carpet put into the new house! I am truly thankful for the ways God has shown Himself to me each day through this.

I am His. I will live for Him.

Changes...

Well, so many things are changing here. I've decided it is time for a new look on my blog too. I've taken to calling my sweet children my ducklings, so I'm going with it!

Especially lately, my children are following behind me everywhere I go! And we have been "going" a lot lately! They remind me of ducklings.

Right now, I just want to shield them beneath my wings and hide them from any pain the world offers!

A long awaited update?

Well, here it is - a whole month later. I didn't expect that it was going to take me this long to return to the blog world. Lack of time and a desperate need for sleep have kept me away so long.

So, here it is. I'm getting a divorce. I really can't believe it myself. I'm a Christian and believe in the sanctity of marriage. I don't believe in getting a divorce just because your not happy. I've encouraged other women to work it out and stick together! And here I am.

Surprisingly, I have incredible peace about it all. I've prayed more in the last month than I've prayed in a while. I know that God is taking care of me and He's not abandoned me. In fact, I feel His presence and love more!

Don't get me wrong, I certainly have shed some tears... especially for my little ducklings! It is almost like mourning a death. I am disappointed... and hurt... and angry... and determined (to do the best I can for my children). And I'm so tired!

I've gone from working one day a week (Papa's day 0ff), to working 3-4 days per week. I take the boys with me and they do their school work there. Princess is in extended care at school now. We run, run, run everywhere to get it all done by ourselves!

AND! In the midst of it all, I'm house hunting! Looking for that perfect house in the perfect neighborhood, for a miniscule price.

It is all so exhausting. I'm learning how to be a career woman again. I'm oh-so-bummed about putting my boys into school at the first of the year. I was a single mom in many aspects before Papa moved out a month ago, but now it is real - not only in action, but the full weight of it is heavy.

I can survive. The Lord is my strength.

My life

I'm amazed at how much can happen in one's life in such a short amount of time. This is the longest I've gone without blogging. Life is just too much to put into words right now. I'm certainly not feeling vulnerable enough to share it with the world - at least yet. When the time comes, of course, it will be all I'll talk about (you know how it is).

For now, please pray for me, Papa and the little ducklings. Life is tough right now and we can use all the strength and encouragement we can get.

Thursday Morning Ugh!

Well, things just keep getting worse here! No really, I'm thankful for many things today, even under the circumstances!

I'm thankful for the good health of Game Master and Candy Man. I'm thankful for antibiotics, so that when I get nasty sinus infections/bronchitis I can be feeling better within a few days! I'm thankful for the sweetness and love of my children - which is mostly unconditional and abundant! I'm thankful for God's assurance - of my salvation, of His presence in my life, of decisions that I'm making that I've asked for direction from Him (there is nothing like His peace, is there?).

The circumstances? Pretty Princess is sick now. She says her "mouth" hurts and sticks her finger down her throat to show me where! She's snotty and coughy, so we are headed to the pediatrician today. She has a history of getting strep pretty easily. Plus, she started school this year - you know what that means! I'm feeling much better, but I'm still coughing my head off! This makes me hurt (chest, head, neck) and occasionally have a urinary faux pas (what a pain and embarrasment!).

Anyway, the circumstances aren't all that bad. You may remember a previous post about how I feel about my kid's being sick! I'm getting better about it! The Lord is my sustainer. I remember today that He is in control. He must've had a reason for me to be at home today, rather than working a few hours this morning and taking the boys to their PE class, and me getting to spend a little time with a really good friend who I haven't gotten to spend time with in so long... I trust Him. This is what He wants for me today.

Monday Morning Ugh!

Good morning! Or is it? I should have never bragged about how good I felt and how much energy I had! Now I'm struck down with illness! I think I have bronchitis. I'm going to the doctor this afternoon to find out for sure.

I feel yucky! (cough, cough) My whole body hurts from coughing. My voice sounds like an unhealthy baritone - well, what there is of it! I'm in a fog (could be from all the cough medicine I keep having to take).

I'd appreciate your prayers!

Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt - Looking Up

My Space . Com

Monday morning update

It has been a truly crazy busy week this past week! Almost everything homeschool got started at once (and what didn't start last week, starts this week!). It was a great week though! I am so thankful that Princess is in a preschool. It is so good for her and makes it so much easier on the boys running all over to activities, etc. I know she gets so tired of waiting on them everywhere. Now she just has to do it one evening a week and at soccer games on Saturdays. Much better for her!

Just Peachy was in town this weekend and I missed her (missed = to fail to meet AND missed = to feel the lack or loss of) . I love you, girl!

Game Master has suffered with croup all weekend though. We are going to see the doctor this afternoon. I think he's going to need an inhaler for soccer too. His asthma is rearing it's ugly head when he runs very much. I keep praying that he will outgrow this...

This may sound weird, but I have felt so good lately! I mean physically. I've been making a point to eat healthier and I can really tell a difference. I've had more energy - it's really amazing (I know it shouldn't be that much of a surprise, it's silly!). I've been getting more done and having energy left over. It is really strange for me. Seems like for 2 or 3 years now, I've been so tired and dragging. I'm feeling more like myself lately!

In fact, it is time to get moving and start school! Have a great Monday!

Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt - food

This week's Photo Hunt theme is "food"!

I couldn't pass up the opportunity to show off

my daughter's birthday cake again!!

Sweet (unexpected) moments with your children

If you are a stay at home mom and have young children, you know how difficult bedtime can be. You are exhausted and ready for them to be in bed so you can have a little time to yourself. You have a tendency to rush this time and push them off to their rooms. Then an hour later, you regret that push and miss them already!

Well, when this occurred last night, I snuck back in their rooms to check on them. The boys were still awake. And they were in the same bed together (which they do frequently, by choice). So, I crawled in with them! We giggled, we laughed, we gaffawed! We cuddled, we snuggled, we nuzzled! We talked, we shared, we dreamed! And we prayed together.

It was the sweetest time! I'm still on a high this morning from it - and so are they!

Plans and Agendas

This weekend, I got to do the next chapter in the Bible study I'm doing. It was titled "Plans and Agendas". This is a topic I've encountered many times before, as I am certainly a planner!

Sometimes, it feels like it is so hard to know what is God's plan! You can ask yourself, is this my will or God's? It seems like this is so hard to answer.

Really, it isn't that difficult. There is a simple question to ask that will answer. "Am I surrendered to Christ? Am I walking in the Spirit?" If the answer is no, then we can be assured that we are attempting to live out our own plans.

But scripture says that human plans WILL fail, but if it is God's plan, then it cannot be overthrown (Acts 5:38-39). God is in control and He will work out His plans in our lives. He does leave it up to us to follow or fight it. Do you follow? Or do you fight it?

I so desperately want to follow! But I get so easily distracted by trials.

This week's "trinket" is a feather duster. I need to clear my head of my own plans and lean on the Lord to show me the way. His way.

Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt - On the Road

A front porch view of my road one day this summer:

Take Me to Your Leader

On Friday, I decided to start a new Bible study. I had bought a book a few weeks ago - recognizing my need to trust and surrender to God. It is called "Giving God Your All". It is a Women of Faith study.

I wrote a big post about how much I had gotten from the first chapter and then blogger shut down on me and deleted it!

Well, I'm not going to write the whole thing again. In fact, I can't! It was a from the heart thing at the moment, you know? But here is the jist...

The first chapter is "Take Me to Your Leader". It is about how Jesus is the Shepherd and we are the sheep. I read verse after verse about how He leads and how His sheep know His voice and follow.

There is one particular verse which really stood out to me:

"I will lead the blind

by a road they do not know,

by paths they have not known

I will guide them.

I will turn the darkness before them into light,

the rough places into level ground.

These are the things I will do,

and I will not forsake them."

--Isaiah 42:16

--

It is the "road they do not know" and the "paths they have not known", not to mention the "darkness" and "rough places", that I fear! It is hard for me to not hold onto those parts of this verse and stay in fear! I must force myself to read the other parts - "I will lead", "I will guide", "turn..into light...into level ground". And the best part "I will not forsake them".

--

The study says "it can be hard to submit to the leadership of others - especially if we do not trust them or we do not like the direction they are headed". HELLO! That is me! I don't like where God has led me in the last 2 years. I am angry with him and disappointed in my life!

--

It is hard for me to trust Him, when I fear where I am headed. I am weak. I am so weak, I am afraid to trust. I know this is called faith. I've been there before. I know that He will give me the peace that I need (and so desperately want) if I just give Him my trust. And yet, I don't. I am praying for help to get past this. I know He wants my heart. And I DO want to give it to Him. I feel choked by fear!

--

I'm not giving up, but pushing forward! I know I can get past this with His help!

--

(Sorry for the "--" at the bottom!! Blogger is still acting up! I can't post pictures either!!)

Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt - Blue

This week's theme is BLUE!

This is the first thing I thought of - a picture of my dislocated/broken toe - which may be better described as black!

Read about how it happenened!

Trusting...

Peachy said that I sound worn out, physically and spiritually. I am! I've been trying to "snap out of it", but can't do it! I need to let go of everything in my life and trust God to handle it. Man, it's hard sometimes, isn't it?

Please pray for me...

Updates!

It has been a big week already! We've had company here from Sunday - Wednesday. Papa's brother and sister-in-law. We had a great time!

Monday we drove over to Pigeon Forge and road go-carts, ate lunch, shopped and played Putt Putt. Tuesday we went to the zoo and home for a cookout. Yesterday after they left, we all crashed! Worn out!

Update on Game Master: We met yesterday with our church's children's pastor. He was able to refer us to a Christian counselor that specializes in children. In fact, the counselor goes to our church too! I'm excited about meeting with her and trying to get Game Master help!

Update on Pretty Princess: She is doing really well in school! I'm so proud of her. She is such a big girl. Yesterday she came home from school saying "Hola, Amigos!" They have spanish class every morning and she was sharing what she had learned!

Update on TN Mama? I don't know what to say. I've enjoyed having company. I'm glad to be getting back on track today (except for the laundry!). It seems like things are never consistent with school. I wish things were simpler around here!

Game Master on my mind...

Today has been better. We have been running errands and haven't tried doing schoolwork. I pray this afternoon will go well as we dig in.

Why the drastic change in him? I just can't figure it out. He doesn't know either.

I'll just keep praying for God's guidance and help.

Running on empty

Traditionally, today has been "Thursday Thanks Tank" for me. I'm so glad that Peach is still doing it! But since my blogging revival, I'm not holding myself to it anymore. It's a good thing, too, because today - I'm running on empty!

As you know, we homeschool. We officially got started in the middle of July. We've done a lot in the last month, but not enough with our curriculum (some, but we are now running behind where I had hoped to be at this point). Today, I was determined to get us headed in the right direction.

It did not go well. Actually, Candy Man did terrific! He got his work done early and had extra free time this afternoon.

Game Master was a bear! He cried. He yelled. He defied. He balked. He refused.

I tried compassion. I loved. I got frustrated. I got angry. I made threats. I took away the TV. I grounded him to his room for the rest of the day.

Well, this is looking to be a good year in school! NOT!

I am genuinely concerned for this child. He has always been my happy boy. A loving, caring, and compassionate child. He is well known for his heart for Jesus and his desire to tell others about Him. For years he has been one of the sweetest children I've ever met (and I'm not just saying that as his mother!).

Then he went to public school for 2nd grade. He repeatedly got his feelings hurt, since he was very obedient and kind to the other children, and they were so disobedient and unkind to him (not anymore than anyone else though). He couldn't understand what was wrong with those children. It was a very difficult year for him and we decided it'd be best for him to be homeschooled again.

Over the course of last year (3rd grade), he did really well with his schoolwork - finishing his curriculum in late February (quite early). His behavior was good. His attitude was good. Until March or April or so. I don't know what happened.

Since then, he has become an extremely unhappy child. He is frequently unkind, disobedient, and disrespectful. He is downright bored most of the time, rarely has fun doing anything, and doesn't want to do anything but watch TV, play Game Cube, or be on the computer.

My heart is breaking for him. I've tried everything I know to do. I'm really concerned for him. Today was the first day that I really have gotten angry with him. My frustration for his behavior and my not knowing how to help him all came together today.

Now I just don't know what to do...

Please pray for my son. I know he is in there somewhere.

A trip to the dentist

Do you like going to the dentist? I do not. I mean, I REALLY do not like going to the dentist! This year we opted to pay for the dental plan with Martin's job. I thought that would make me go (as well as the whole family). You know - since we are paying for it, we must go, right!?

Of course, it takes months to get a cleaning appointment, so months ago, I scheduled us all appointments with our new dentist (assigned by our insurance company). Today, it was the boy's turn - Papa, Game Master, and Candy Man.

Game Master went first and did great! Candy Man went next and did great (although the dentist wants him to see an orthodontist right away due to his thumb/finger sucking - I guess this shoots down my previous post about this!!). Papa did terrible! Actually, it wasn't him. He played it really cool, since the boys were watching. The dentist was extremely rough on him. He scraped his gums all to pieces. I watched as his assistant suctioned the blood out of his mouth! It was awful! Big tough Papa had to come home and take some Tylenol!

Now, with that story being told... how in the world am I suppose to go see this same dentist one week from now? Pretty Princess and I are scheduled to go next week. I have the "we are paying for this I have to do it" on one side. I have the "ain't no way I'm going through that" on the other side. I have the "you aren't having any dental problems, maybe you should just cancel it" on the justification side.

What in the world am I going to do!??

What is the deal?

Hello? Anyone out there that can help me?

Why is my information all the way at the bottom instead of at the right of my blog posts? When did that happen? How can I fix it??

Look what happened!

It happened! Finally!

Candy Man is going to the dentist tomorrow. He was scared that the dentist would pull his tooth - it's been loose for awhile now. He was afraid it would hurt. So he let me and Game Master have a go at it!

I got it out pretty easily! I can't believe I did it! Oooooo! I'm not good at these things. Papa is suppose to be the one to do it! Of course, he was at work.

He was so excited when the tooth came out. He called Papa and told him. He called Grandma and Grandpa (and even talked on the phone with their dog to tell her!). Of course we had a photo shoot to document the whole event! Then he saw the pictures on the computer and started to cry! He said he looks ugly!

Anyway, I introduce to you...... the new Candy Man:

Lazy Blogger?

I feel like a lazy blogger! Am I?

I have been busy. It hasn't had the pull that it had before.

Is it me? Is it just because I have more fun things to do? Is it because I'm too busy? Is it because I can't think of anything to say?

I don't know!

Maybe it is that I started trying to put myself in a box with all the different memes going on - Sunday Scripture, Saturday Photo Hunt, Wednesday Works for Me, Thursday Thanks Tank, Friday's Everyday Things, Tuesday's Treasures (okay...I don't think I ever did that one... but I meant to!). Then I'd feel guilty because I didn't get a post on that day...then the next...and the next.

Forget it! I'm starting fresh! Originally, I had meant for this to be my journal - what was going on in our life, my thoughts, whatever I was feeling that day - that kind of thing. I was enticed to do other things and got overwhelmed.

At least, that is what I think...

And so, I'm starting again! I'm blogging when I want to, what I want to, and for me! Who cares if anyone reads it or comments? That is not why I'm doing this! (I must keep reminding myself of this!)

Simple. Keep. It. Simple.

Pretty Princess's big day!

My Pretty Princess is growing up! I can't believe it, but today we took her for her first day of preschool! I know, she is four years old - I just can't believe it!

I think a big part of what I can't believe is that we homeschool and are sending her to preschool!! Game Master went to public school one year. That is it. We've never done preschool, daycare or anything!

Why are we sending Princess to school?

*The main reason is because she isn't interested in learning from me! She won't let me read books to her. She won't let me teach her. She learns better from others. We want what is best for each of our children, and just feel this will be best for her - at least for this year.

*Of course, another benefit will be how much easier it will be to homeschool the boys. Princess won't have to go on all our treks (she spends so much time sitting waiting on the boys to be done with PE, soccer/basketball/baseball, play practice, or whatever class they are taking...). It will give me more opportunities with them.

We missed her while she was at school this morning. She absolutely loved it! She can't wait to go back on Monday! I'm so proud of her!

Over the river and through the woods...

Life here has been so busy lately. It's a good thing though. We've had a bit of a boring summer up until the last few weeks. It's good to get out and have some fun!!

This weekend we visited my dad's family in Ohio. We stayed with my grandmother. It was the first time I'd ever stayed at her house with all three children!

We visited Serpent Mound. The kids enjoyed that. Candy Man got a real Arrowhead necklace from the gift shop. He's shown everyone he comes in contact with ever since! They also had a snake exhibit that day. The boys especially liked talking to the park ranger about the venemous snakes!

My grandmother then took the kids shopping to buy them each a little something to play with. She has a pool and we went swimming every day.

On Sunday, after attending church with her, most of our family came over for dinner. We had a nice visit with each other, and got to meet our newest cousin too! It was good to see everyone. I wish we got to see them more often.

The 7 1/2 hour drive home made that wish lessen a bit though, I must say! Princess cried several times during the car ride wanting to go back to "Grandpa's" (for some reason she can't say Grandma!!).

Overall, it was a very nice weekend. I am glad to be home though!!

Candy Man saying...

The Candy Man is at it again!

CM, emphatically: "I'm soooo glad that I'm not a girl!"

Mama, with mild laughter: "Why are you glad that you aren't a girl?"

CM, dramatically: "Because I don't want to get pregnant! That would hurt!"

I know today is Thursday. Papa has the day off (making it harder to sneak and blog - he's gone to wash the car right now!), I'm taking the kids to Ohio tomorrow to see my grandmother (which leaves much packing & preparing to do), and I must do Princess's hair today (takes several hours!). I probably won't get around to blogging my Thanks Tank, but I am thankful! Especially for this.

Eventually things will return somewhat to normal with me! We've just been so busy lately - but with fun stuff, so that is good! Happy Thankful Thursday!

One of the greatest days...

I think that this past Saturday was one of the greatest days we've had in a long time - maybe ever! On Thursday evening, my cousin called and told us that her family was staying at a lake resort about an hour from us. They invited us to come over for the day - they were planning on renting a pontoon boat and spending the day on the lake! Papa had to work, but I knew it'd be great fun for me and the kids... so we said yes!

We were up early Saturday morning and on our way (with life jackets, towels, bathing suits, water skis, lots of food & drinks and dry clothes for later - you know, pretty much a van full - all for one day!). We arrived at the resort at 9:15am and after hugs all around, loaded up the boat for a day to remember!

Despite the overcast skies and the one little rain shower, it was a beautiful day! Not too hot, but warm enough to swim and do everything we would want to do! We rode the boat all over the lake! We went past Goat Island, the osprey nests, Rucker Beach (named after my great aunt & uncle). We spent time swimming on Sand Island and over at a new beach where Eagle Lodge used to be. We drove past Terrace View Resort, Silver Dollar Island, and up White's Creek. The kids went tubing all over the place! Game Master, Candy Man, and their oldest boy all tried water skiing! We picnicked, played in the sand, jumped off the boat, and walked the trail around Sand Island.

We ended the day with a late dinner outside at the resort, a game of "Horse" on the basketball court, and more hugs all around, before loading up and returning home!

More than anything, we enjoyed each other's company and played well together! I am so thankful for the time spent with my children and my cousins that day! It was so good to see family that we hardly ever get to spend any time with.

It will be a day never forgotten...

Out of the Loop!

Man! Have I been out of the loop! It was such a busy week last week, I didn't get to blog or read anyone's blog! Please forgive me!

It was really an incredibly wonderful week! It began with an unexpected visit from Just Peachy. We had a late night gab session that was so sweet! We used to have these more frequently, and it was so good to get to do it again!!

The next three days I was busy with "Thelma"! It was her last week off from surgery and we spent a lot of time together - rocking and talking on the porch, and shopping! We had a great time bargain hunting at the mall (and found some really great deals!). It was so good to spend the time together before she goes back to work ... and before we move.

No, it hasn't sold yet, but we are still trying. I think we are getting ready to put an ad in the newspaper for it...

On Wednesday, I got Princess enrolled in preschool. Then I went to a meeting that connected my church to the Community for Healthy Babies team. I'm so excited about that! The women at my church are going to be taking on a project by helping with the Community Baby Showers that I've been a part of for a couple years! Wooo-hooo!!

I went to the doctor for a check-up on Thursday. Enough said about that...

Friday, I went to my church for our monthly scrapbooking crop. I got 6 pages done and had a nice catch-up evening with AnnieBeth (which was overdue).

Saturday was one of the best days of my life! I'll have to tell you more about that one later! So much fun, I'm still reeling from it!!

Sunday was church and out to my parents to swim!

I feel like a zombie today! I'm cleaning house and doing laundry. Well, no, actually I'm blogging, aren't I? Well, the laundry is going....

Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt - Animals

This week's Photo Hunt theme is animals/pets.

Here is "Freddie the frog"! He lives in the pond at my parent's house. We frequently hear him, but don't see him. He made a rare appearance for me this week - and allowed a photo shoot!

A few more zoo animals...

Surprise! Surprise!

How cool is this? I'm still on a high from this weekend! It was full of fun surprises!

On Saturday, Papa called from Atlanta where he'd spent the week at Mega-fest. He had rode down with a friend and they were planning on coming home on Sunday. Their conference was over and he was ready to come home. He asked if I would drive halfway to get him. I said, "Hmmmm...could I come a little farther than halfway!?"

So we did! We met up in Calhoun, GA. Then drove a short 20 miles off of I-75 to see Just Peachy!!! Of course, she had just moved to Rome, GA on Thursday! We got to see her sweet new home and all go out to dinner together in downtown Rome. It was an absolutely wonderful visit! I can't even express how thankful I am for that short time with them!! I miss that girl so much! I'm so glad that she is just 2 1/2 hours from me now! We must get together again soon, Peach!! (And notice that I honored your request not to post your picture yet - I'll let you do the "unvailing" on your blog!!)


Then, on Sunday after church, we had a surprise birthday party for my friend Melanie (who has been through losing her 3 yr old son just 2 years ago, and now is fighting breast cancer)! I hadn't seen her for a month and enjoyed getting updated on her cancer treatments, etc... We really surprised her - with about 15 adults and uncounted children! I think she loved all the attention!

Please pray for her as she continues to take radiation and another experimental drug. She's made it through chemo-therapy and is trying to live somewhat a normal life now. She needs all the prayers for healing that she can get!

Sunday Scripture

"Restore to me the joy

of your salvation and

grant me a willing spirit,

to sustain me."

--Psalm 51:12

Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt - Action

This week's Photo Hunt theme is action!

Everyday Things...

"...For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances."

Philippians 4:11

The busiest time in our day is always bedtime. Trying to coordinate three children in baths, books, and beds - when they really just want to play - can be a challenge. In addition to that, I'm tired and ready for them to go to bed so that I can have some alone time (by myself or with Papa). These are the moments I tend to rush!

Candy Man never lets us forget to pray. Even if they're all tucked in and had their last drink, potty, etc... he'll get everyone up because we forgot to pray. This has been going on for 2 months now. It is a shame that I have seen this time as "another stall tactic". God convicted me of this in the last few weeks.

My Everyday Thing is bedtime prayer! I've started taking the initiative and gathering them all together in one of their beds and taking turns praying and thanking God for our day. How sweet are the prayers of children! Even Game Master, who's been avoiding praying aloud recently, has taken to praying with earnest again! It ends our day, and our busy evenings, with a sweet time together. We all give hugs and kisses and head to bed after that. I'm so thankful to God for opening my eyes and helping me to better appreciate this time with my little ones!