Long time, no see...update

Wow. It's been a long, long time since I've visited this place. It used to be a place of purging for me. I honestly don't have time for it anymore. I want to though. Maybe just 10 minutes a night or two a week is doable...

Well, we go to court in a few weeks to finalize the divorce. I'm in shock about it really. I can't believe I'm getting a divorce. I don't believe in them.

We are all extremely exhausted, with end-of-school-year activities, work, etc... We went to Houston, TX last weekend for my brother's wedding. It was beautiful. We had a wonderful weekend, for the most part. Reality hit hard on Monday, with little sleep and back to school/work.

I'll update more later, but wanted to post a picture of me and my beautiful kids at the wedding. They are going through so many difficulties right now. I'm so proud of them. I pray we make it through this...

I'm home!

I'm moved in! (Well, I have a little more furniture to move tomorrow... but we are sleeping here!)

I'm amazed at much help that I had! With each new project needing to be done, God blessed me tremendously with friends and family to help me! I can't even express my graciousness to Him, and to those that He used in my life in the last month! It really has been amazing!

Well, back to cleaning and unpacking... Maybe I'll get back to regular scheduled blogging before long...

Tomorrow is Painting Day!

It seems like the day would never come. Wallpaper has been stripped. Holes have been patched. Cleaning and more cleaning and more cleaning has been done (and much more cleaning to do yet...). Doorknobs and windows have been taped off with plastic. All appliances have been taped. We are finally ready to paint!

Doppler Daddy and I have worked for over a week now on preparing the new house for painting. He has done so much of the dirty work (literally) and all of the high-up work (I'm scared!). I just don't know what I would do without him. I'm so thankful for my dad right now!

I'm more exhausted than I've been in a long time. Besides working on the house, I have worked two part-time jobs and taken care of three children. I admit, however, that McDonalds has seen us more than a few times this week!! Okay, Little Caesars Pizza twice too. I yearn for a hot cooked meal at home. It'll have to be at the new house, since I packed most of my dishes on Wednesday!!

So, get this! A good friend has gotten together a group of people from our church to come and paint the whole inside of the house tomorrow! She says 12 people are coming! One of them is a contractor who will be there with a paint sprayer and will spray all of the ceilings first!! I'm so blessed that these people are going to spend a Saturday out of such a busy month to help me! Oh! And did I mention that they have given me the paint???

I just can't hardly wait to see what it looks like at this time tomorrow!

I'm moving!

Yes, you may remember that my house was for sale earlier this year. Well, if you've read more recent posts, then you know that I'm moving for different reasons. God never ceases to amaze me - especially in difficult times!

I have two more weeks here before the kids and I will be in our new house. We got the keys this week and have begun the extreme-home-makeover process that is necessary when buying a 'used' house.

I'm so excited about the neighborhood! We were there all day yesterday - stripping wallpaper (fun! fun!). My little ducklings played outside all day, meeting the neighborhood kids. A game of touch football was played, scooters and bikes were ridden, a favorite card game was played. I'm so thrilled for my little ones - to have a neighborhood where there are other kids to play with! They've been lonely here.

Each time that I went to the window to check on them (every 5 minutes - ha!), I got teary-eyed! I am thrilled for them! I look forward to getting this messy work of painting/cleaning/packing/moving all done and settled into our new home! And just in time for Christmas!

Thank You, God!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I wish you and your family a very happy Thanksgiving! I pray that your family is blessed abundantly this holiday!

There is hope...

There is so much sadness in my heart right now. And yet, there is hope. I'm so thankful for the hope that God has given me. Especially through the encouragement of others - my parents, friends, family, church, even an occasional stranger!

Today, my blessing from God is in finding a new home for me and my children. We'll have enough space for all of us (and our stuff!). We'll have a yard to play in, even a cul-de-sac to ride scooters in! And we already know several neighbors. What a huge blessing this is for me! I even got a call today telling me that a family member is going to pay to have new carpet put into the new house! I am truly thankful for the ways God has shown Himself to me each day through this.

I am His. I will live for Him.

Changes...

Well, so many things are changing here. I've decided it is time for a new look on my blog too. I've taken to calling my sweet children my ducklings, so I'm going with it!

Especially lately, my children are following behind me everywhere I go! And we have been "going" a lot lately! They remind me of ducklings.

Right now, I just want to shield them beneath my wings and hide them from any pain the world offers!

A long awaited update?

Well, here it is - a whole month later. I didn't expect that it was going to take me this long to return to the blog world. Lack of time and a desperate need for sleep have kept me away so long.

So, here it is. I'm getting a divorce. I really can't believe it myself. I'm a Christian and believe in the sanctity of marriage. I don't believe in getting a divorce just because your not happy. I've encouraged other women to work it out and stick together! And here I am.

Surprisingly, I have incredible peace about it all. I've prayed more in the last month than I've prayed in a while. I know that God is taking care of me and He's not abandoned me. In fact, I feel His presence and love more!

Don't get me wrong, I certainly have shed some tears... especially for my little ducklings! It is almost like mourning a death. I am disappointed... and hurt... and angry... and determined (to do the best I can for my children). And I'm so tired!

I've gone from working one day a week (Papa's day 0ff), to working 3-4 days per week. I take the boys with me and they do their school work there. Princess is in extended care at school now. We run, run, run everywhere to get it all done by ourselves!

AND! In the midst of it all, I'm house hunting! Looking for that perfect house in the perfect neighborhood, for a miniscule price.

It is all so exhausting. I'm learning how to be a career woman again. I'm oh-so-bummed about putting my boys into school at the first of the year. I was a single mom in many aspects before Papa moved out a month ago, but now it is real - not only in action, but the full weight of it is heavy.

I can survive. The Lord is my strength.

My life

I'm amazed at how much can happen in one's life in such a short amount of time. This is the longest I've gone without blogging. Life is just too much to put into words right now. I'm certainly not feeling vulnerable enough to share it with the world - at least yet. When the time comes, of course, it will be all I'll talk about (you know how it is).

For now, please pray for me, Papa and the little ducklings. Life is tough right now and we can use all the strength and encouragement we can get.

Thursday Morning Ugh!

Well, things just keep getting worse here! No really, I'm thankful for many things today, even under the circumstances!

I'm thankful for the good health of Game Master and Candy Man. I'm thankful for antibiotics, so that when I get nasty sinus infections/bronchitis I can be feeling better within a few days! I'm thankful for the sweetness and love of my children - which is mostly unconditional and abundant! I'm thankful for God's assurance - of my salvation, of His presence in my life, of decisions that I'm making that I've asked for direction from Him (there is nothing like His peace, is there?).

The circumstances? Pretty Princess is sick now. She says her "mouth" hurts and sticks her finger down her throat to show me where! She's snotty and coughy, so we are headed to the pediatrician today. She has a history of getting strep pretty easily. Plus, she started school this year - you know what that means! I'm feeling much better, but I'm still coughing my head off! This makes me hurt (chest, head, neck) and occasionally have a urinary faux pas (what a pain and embarrasment!).

Anyway, the circumstances aren't all that bad. You may remember a previous post about how I feel about my kid's being sick! I'm getting better about it! The Lord is my sustainer. I remember today that He is in control. He must've had a reason for me to be at home today, rather than working a few hours this morning and taking the boys to their PE class, and me getting to spend a little time with a really good friend who I haven't gotten to spend time with in so long... I trust Him. This is what He wants for me today.

Monday Morning Ugh!

Good morning! Or is it? I should have never bragged about how good I felt and how much energy I had! Now I'm struck down with illness! I think I have bronchitis. I'm going to the doctor this afternoon to find out for sure.

I feel yucky! (cough, cough) My whole body hurts from coughing. My voice sounds like an unhealthy baritone - well, what there is of it! I'm in a fog (could be from all the cough medicine I keep having to take).

I'd appreciate your prayers!

Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt - Looking Up

My Space . Com

Monday morning update

It has been a truly crazy busy week this past week! Almost everything homeschool got started at once (and what didn't start last week, starts this week!). It was a great week though! I am so thankful that Princess is in a preschool. It is so good for her and makes it so much easier on the boys running all over to activities, etc. I know she gets so tired of waiting on them everywhere. Now she just has to do it one evening a week and at soccer games on Saturdays. Much better for her!

Just Peachy was in town this weekend and I missed her (missed = to fail to meet AND missed = to feel the lack or loss of) . I love you, girl!

Game Master has suffered with croup all weekend though. We are going to see the doctor this afternoon. I think he's going to need an inhaler for soccer too. His asthma is rearing it's ugly head when he runs very much. I keep praying that he will outgrow this...

This may sound weird, but I have felt so good lately! I mean physically. I've been making a point to eat healthier and I can really tell a difference. I've had more energy - it's really amazing (I know it shouldn't be that much of a surprise, it's silly!). I've been getting more done and having energy left over. It is really strange for me. Seems like for 2 or 3 years now, I've been so tired and dragging. I'm feeling more like myself lately!

In fact, it is time to get moving and start school! Have a great Monday!

Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt - food

This week's Photo Hunt theme is "food"!

I couldn't pass up the opportunity to show off

my daughter's birthday cake again!!

Sweet (unexpected) moments with your children

If you are a stay at home mom and have young children, you know how difficult bedtime can be. You are exhausted and ready for them to be in bed so you can have a little time to yourself. You have a tendency to rush this time and push them off to their rooms. Then an hour later, you regret that push and miss them already!

Well, when this occurred last night, I snuck back in their rooms to check on them. The boys were still awake. And they were in the same bed together (which they do frequently, by choice). So, I crawled in with them! We giggled, we laughed, we gaffawed! We cuddled, we snuggled, we nuzzled! We talked, we shared, we dreamed! And we prayed together.

It was the sweetest time! I'm still on a high this morning from it - and so are they!

Plans and Agendas

This weekend, I got to do the next chapter in the Bible study I'm doing. It was titled "Plans and Agendas". This is a topic I've encountered many times before, as I am certainly a planner!

Sometimes, it feels like it is so hard to know what is God's plan! You can ask yourself, is this my will or God's? It seems like this is so hard to answer.

Really, it isn't that difficult. There is a simple question to ask that will answer. "Am I surrendered to Christ? Am I walking in the Spirit?" If the answer is no, then we can be assured that we are attempting to live out our own plans.

But scripture says that human plans WILL fail, but if it is God's plan, then it cannot be overthrown (Acts 5:38-39). God is in control and He will work out His plans in our lives. He does leave it up to us to follow or fight it. Do you follow? Or do you fight it?

I so desperately want to follow! But I get so easily distracted by trials.

This week's "trinket" is a feather duster. I need to clear my head of my own plans and lean on the Lord to show me the way. His way.

Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt - On the Road

A front porch view of my road one day this summer:

Take Me to Your Leader

On Friday, I decided to start a new Bible study. I had bought a book a few weeks ago - recognizing my need to trust and surrender to God. It is called "Giving God Your All". It is a Women of Faith study.

I wrote a big post about how much I had gotten from the first chapter and then blogger shut down on me and deleted it!

Well, I'm not going to write the whole thing again. In fact, I can't! It was a from the heart thing at the moment, you know? But here is the jist...

The first chapter is "Take Me to Your Leader". It is about how Jesus is the Shepherd and we are the sheep. I read verse after verse about how He leads and how His sheep know His voice and follow.

There is one particular verse which really stood out to me:

"I will lead the blind

by a road they do not know,

by paths they have not known

I will guide them.

I will turn the darkness before them into light,

the rough places into level ground.

These are the things I will do,

and I will not forsake them."

--Isaiah 42:16

--

It is the "road they do not know" and the "paths they have not known", not to mention the "darkness" and "rough places", that I fear! It is hard for me to not hold onto those parts of this verse and stay in fear! I must force myself to read the other parts - "I will lead", "I will guide", "turn..into light...into level ground". And the best part "I will not forsake them".

--

The study says "it can be hard to submit to the leadership of others - especially if we do not trust them or we do not like the direction they are headed". HELLO! That is me! I don't like where God has led me in the last 2 years. I am angry with him and disappointed in my life!

--

It is hard for me to trust Him, when I fear where I am headed. I am weak. I am so weak, I am afraid to trust. I know this is called faith. I've been there before. I know that He will give me the peace that I need (and so desperately want) if I just give Him my trust. And yet, I don't. I am praying for help to get past this. I know He wants my heart. And I DO want to give it to Him. I feel choked by fear!

--

I'm not giving up, but pushing forward! I know I can get past this with His help!

--

(Sorry for the "--" at the bottom!! Blogger is still acting up! I can't post pictures either!!)

Saturday Photo Scavenger Hunt - Blue

This week's theme is BLUE!

This is the first thing I thought of - a picture of my dislocated/broken toe - which may be better described as black!

Read about how it happenened!

Trusting...

Peachy said that I sound worn out, physically and spiritually. I am! I've been trying to "snap out of it", but can't do it! I need to let go of everything in my life and trust God to handle it. Man, it's hard sometimes, isn't it?

Please pray for me...