One more reason that I hate public school

I am so glad my children will not be attending public school next year. I just can't get them out of there fast enough! Today's example:
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Today is the big day for GameMaster, my fifth grader. You know, the day when they seperate the boys from the girls and show them a video that teaches about their changing bodies. You know, the birds and the bees.

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Well, being a concerned parent, I want to know what is in this video. Excuse me if I've made too big of a deal about it! I want to know what my child is being taught!!

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I'm SURE that they won't mention that GOD had anything to do with it!

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So, anyway...a permission slip was sent home for me to sign to allow him to participate in seeing this video. (I guess the children who aren't given permission will have to stay in the classroom and miss it.) I talked to GM about it. He was kind of excited about the video and looking forward to it (which I thought was kind of cute). So I signed the slip and sent it back to school. Here is where I "messed up"...

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I e-mailed his teacher asking if I could just be there during the showing of the video. I wasn't planning on making a big production of it or telling my own testimony or anything!! I just wanted to sneak in the back of the room and watch it with them. GM was not only okay with this, he wants me to be there!! (Of course we've already talked about all this stuff and it won't be anything "new" to his ears. I'm just curious as to what they are teaching.)

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I received an e-mail back the next day from his teacher explaining to me that she had consulted with the principal about this (?!?!?). Basically, the answer was NO - I could not watch it with the students!

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Okay. What is the deal? I'm ever increasingly aware of the principal's attitude toward me. It is very clear that I am a "problem parent"!! I think this is hilarious! I care about what junk is being put into my children's brains. I don't trust the school to teach them what I want them to be taught!! I'm NOT sorry that I don't want them to be just another number in public school. I'm NOT sorry that I want the very best for them. I'm NOT sorry that I don't want my 5th grader told that it's okay to have sex, as long as he wears a condom! (I'm not saying that this is what he will be told today, but I don't know - since I'm not allowed to be there!!!)

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But this I can rejoice in: GameMaster wants me to be there. He feels comfortable talking to me about this. He will come home and share with me what he heard (even what all the boys in class had to say about it all). Why? Because, as he said this morning: "I'm just more comfortable with you, Mom."

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Thank you, God!

Poor Lulu!

My friend Lisa just recently introduced me to a local tea room called LuLu's Tea Room. I have only gotten to go there once for lunch, but have looked forward to returning! It is such a sweet place with really yummy food that leaves you feeling satisfied.

Unfortunately I heard on the news last night that LuLu's had a fire yesterday! One report says that 75% of the inside of the building is damaged. I'm so sorry to hear this. It is not an easy thing to go into business for yourself and work so hard everyday as I know this woman has done. Deana Hurd opened the tea room just 2 years ago. I hope to see her re-open LuLu's soon!

Can We Talk?

My Bible Study group has reconvened! We began a new study last week. It is, "Can We Talk?" by Priscilla Shirer. I have completed the first week and look forward to going to our group time this morning.

The study has been difficult for me this week. I don't know what is wrong with me. The last day of the study was on Hebrews 13:15-16. It talks about giving a sacrifice of praise. It isn't that I am going through some difficult struggle right now. I just feel blah. I don't know why. So, I am going to praise - even if I don't feel like it!!

My friend Lisa is sick. She has a bad cold and has been sick for almost a week now! She isn't going to bible study today. I will miss her so much! Especially our lunch and afternoon talking!! I think we both need this so bad. There is nothing like a good godly friend to talk things through with, is there? Get better soon, my friend...

Cinderella

Have you heard the new song by Steven Curtis Chapman? It is called "Cinderella". Go here to hear it: http://www.stevencurtischapman.com/cinderella.htm. I wish I knew how to put it on this page, but oh well!

This song makes me sad for my Princess. Lately, I've been mourning the lack of man in my children's life. I don't want one right now. I'm not ready. But they are. They need a godly man to love them and show them the way.

A week ago at church I saw two boys come up to the altar to pray during church. A few moments later I saw their dad come and pray over them. I bawled.

Later this week they are having the sex ed talk at school in GameMaster's grade. I've been the one to talk to him about all of these changes that are coming for him. It seems like it'd be good for him to have a man to talk to about it. I'm glad he can talk to me about it though.

Missy Prissy dances with me. It's fun and we both love it. Imagine how she'll feel someday when a boy will dance with her. I wish she had a godly man to dance with now...

I know that God is the father of the fatherless. And I do see ways that He takes care of my children as a father would. I guess I just want more for them - you know?

Blah.

Today is a blah day. I feel blah. It is blah outside (45 degrees I might add!).

Just blah. That is all I have to say.

The Smell of Sweet Victory!

PEACE AT MY HOUSE!!

He did it! He came straight home from school and mowed the grass! No complaining! No crying! No nasty talk! No rebellion! I didn't even have to tell him to! And he feels good about it! (so do I!)

Moving Forward...

I met with Missy Prissy's teacher this morning to discuss her progress and recommendation for next year. Her teacher was so excited to talk to me! Missy has just taken off in the couple months! She's writing full sentences - really well. And most importantly she is reading!! Her teacher recommends sending her on to first grade!

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I also talked with her about Missy's "La-La Land" episodes. She feels certain that she is just day dreaming with her wide imagination (which is what all "professionals" have told me when I talk to them about this). So, I'm going with it!

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I'm going to see about getting her into FBA with the boys for next year!!

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Now we'll see how GameMaster does after school today with the mowing...

How many licks?

Remember those commercials when we were kids about the Tootsie Roll pops? "How many licks until you get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop? 1.... 2.... CRUNCH!" I always loved that commercial, but didn't care for the tootsie roll! I was the opposite - I'd eat the sucker off and throw away the tootsie roll inside. Now, a blow pop...that is another story!!

Why I am thinking of that commercial right now? I have no idea!! I have just finished DAY FOUR with GameMaster mowing the grass. This is a new chore for him this year. Unfortunately, his mother suffered through it last year and he's taken my attitude towards it. (It is very hard to present a task positively to your child - "This will be fun!!" - after complaining about doing it yourself. Lesson to learn...)

So I gave him a choice, he can mow the whole yard all in one day and have the rest of the week off. Or he can come home and mow a small section of the yard almost every day. He chose the later (I can't say that I blame him).

So today was DAY FOUR. I am going to say this as sweetly as I can. He is driving me crazy! He's making it miserable on himself! ALL FOUR DAYS he has cried and carried on. He's been rude, disrespectful and rebelliously disobedient. Then after several disciplines he goes and mows his small section for the day.

THEN he comes in with a terrific attitude!! He feels so great about himself. He is genuinely proud of his accomplishment! One day, he even decided to be so kind and mow the front yard of my neighbor (a fellow single mom with a broken lawn mower)! (Mind you, he went through the whole tantrum throwing that day before mowing too!)

How many licks will it take for this child to just buck up and get it done? Can't he see that he is wasting his precious evening play time with his shenanigans? But, alas. I must go. Missy Prissy is disobediently playing with the water hose for the blasted fifth time in two days.....

I'm Busted!

I've hurt myself again! This time it's my own fault! Learn from my mistake - never wear flip flops in the rain!

There I was bebopping into the bank with GameMaster, we were giggling and having a good ole time walking through puddles to get there. I hit a slick spot and went smack to the ground. I don't remember much about it, except my face meeting the pavement and not being able to breathe for a few seconds. I remember looking up and seeing the contents of my purse splattered all over the road and thinking that I was blocking traffic. (The thoughts we have in these moments amaze me!)

After I could breathe again, I somehow got up and limped to the sidewalk. GameMaster helped me find somewhere to sit down and catch my breathe. He was totally freaked out - poor guy! My left knee was quickly swelling and turning all kinds of nasty shades of blue, black, purple and pink. I was much more concerned at this point about my right ankle, which yelled at me every time I tried to move it at all.

So today, I am limping with a sprained ankle and a busted knee. I'm bruised all over and quite sore. On a better note, GameMaster was affected deeply by the fall and has barely left my side with wanting to help me. He's been a total sweetheart!

So, I'm all busted up and black and blue. I'll be okay. But why is it when you type in "umbrella" to do a search for photos, it pulls up all these beach umbrellas? Boy, I'd sure love to be using one of those umbrellas today instead!!

I am chosen?

I've been reading the book of Isaiah in my quiet times. So many verses talk about being chosen by God (especially in chapters 41-45). It is confusing to me. I know that we have our own will and can go our own way. But it also says, "many are invited, but few are chosen" (Matt 22:14).

Than of course there is this verse, "In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory." (Eph 1:11-12)

So how much of this life is our choice and how much is His choice? And is there a cut and dry answer to this question? Do we even know? What are your thoughts?

Missy Prissy's Family Tree!?

You know what? We haven't called her Princess since almost the beginning of this blog, so I'm officially changing her name! We call her "Missy Prissy". And it fits. Well!!

So, here is the deal. I've heard other adoptive parents complain about "family" assignments in school. These assignments are just not set up for families nowadays! What about the adopted child? What about the child with divorced parents? What if those parents have remarried? What if one of their parents have died? What about the child who is being raised by their grandparents (it's happening a lot now!)? This just aggrevates me.

So what am I doing about it? Stalling! That is what I'm doing. The "family tree" assignment is due tomorrow and looks like this:

Now, this could be a really sweet assignment for some kids. One you'd want to frame and hang in their room. Maybe Missy Prissy will want to do just that...who knows!

But her family tree is much more complicated than this. I feel like by putting my picture and MIA Papa's picture on there is leaving out so much. I don't think that she will feel that way - at least not yet. But maybe she will someday. And how would her birthparent's feel? Wouldn't they want to be apart of her family tree too?

I Hear God's Voice (read on before you think I've lost it...)

I think one of the hardest things I've tried to discern in my Christian walk has been trying to determine God's will for my life. You know, not just His BIG purpose for my whole life, but the smaller every day kind of things. Does He want me to do THIS or THAT? If you are a Christian, I'm sure you know what I mean.

Our pastor is doing a sermon series titled "Questions and Answers". He has asked the congregation to e-mail him questions we've had and he's going to search the Bible and give us the answers over the next few weeks. Yesterday was "Part I" of the series.

He tackled a couple of different questions, but my favorite was the last one, "If you are going in a direction that you think God wants you to go and encounter an obstacle, how do you know if God wants you to overcome the obstacle or He is using the obstacle to change your direction?"

Now as a side note, I must say at this point that I do "hear God speak to me". But what I mean by this isn't that I can audibly hear His voice. I wish. It isn't that easy. What I mean is that He speaks to me through His Word (the Bible), through others, through thoughts... But trying to figure out when it is HIM and when it is ME is sometimes a challenge!

He then preached on "Five Keys to Hearing from God: How to Identify the Voice of God". Here are his 5 points:

1. God's voice is consistent with His Word (the Bible). (Psalm 119:105) He will never lead me to do something that isn't in line with His written word. So what does this tell me? I must know His Word to discern His voice.

2. God's voice will conflict with human wisdom. (Matthew 5:38-48) His will doesn't always make sense. Sometimes he wants me to do something, in faith that He will provide along the way.

3. God's voice will clash with your fleshly nature. (Galatians 5:19-24) What He wants isn't always what I WANT. The way He wants me to be isn't the way I'll naturally be.

4. God's voice will challenge your faith. (Hebrews 11:6) He is constantly trying to grow me. His desires won't always be easy for me.

5. God's voice often demands courage. (Joshua 1) That is why it is called faith. I must trust in Him to do it. This definitely takes courage!

Are you faced with a decision?

I suggest you seek after Him before making your decision.

Then "listen" for His answer.

Blessings Times Two (maybe even Three)!!!

Oh my goodness! I just don't know what to say, except... Praise God! I just can't believe it! (My friend Lisa is smiling as she reads this thinking, "I knew it! I just knew it!)

I spoke to the Principal of First Baptist Academy today (the wonderful school that GameMaster will be going to next year). I had misunderstood what the Board of Directors at the school had offered to me!! The dollar amount that she had quoted me was for ALL THREE of my children to attend their school (not JUST GameMaster)!!! (Are you believing this?!?) They have never done this before, but after reading my letter to the board, and praying about my children, they want all three of them to attend their school - all for a low tuition of just one of them! I'm so freaked out!!

Now, the reason why it may be for only two of them. I've been meeting this year with Princess' teacher and we believe that she could have some special needs. She has been behind all year in kindergarten (she was last year in pre-school as well). It could be that she needs some special help, or it could be she needs to be held back a year. We just aren't sure yet. I'm to meet with her next week to see where she is at now. FBA doesn't accept any special needs children. This is why she may not be able to attend there.

But for now - I've got GameMaster and CandyMan signed up for testing later this month and they will be attending a private Christian school next year!! (Who would've thunk it!??)

(Can you tell I'm excited??) Thank you, God!!

CandyMan update

The problem teeth have been extracted! It was kind of a funny experience actually. CandyMan is so tough, most of the time. The dentist gave him nitrous oxide - otherwise known as laughing gas. Well, today I saw why it was called "laughing" gas!! The child giggled and giggled!! It was hilarious! He just kept smiling and laughing! I've never had so much fun at the dentist before!!

CandyMan was oblivious to the numbing injections and the yanking of the molars. He was much more interested in the fact that he couldn't feel his chin and how darn funny that was!!

I'm sitting here at my computer laughing and typing!! It really was very funny!

New Again

Oh! Have you seen this video?? It is so good! Click on this to see it...

New Again

Some pictures are quite graphic...you may want to make sure that "little eyes" are not watching...

God moments...

There are so many good God moments happening in my life right now. When they occur, I look forward to blogging about them. But then life happens and all I can think to blog is...

CandyMan is home from school today. He had a low grade fever yesterday evening - with a headache. I thought he seemed fine though. This morning his fever is fine, but he says he still feels bad. And I smell his breath?? So I look at his throat...it appears fine. Then I look at his teeth. Aha!! His teeth are abscessed again! It's infection! What is causing this!??

We are going to the dentist this afternoon for an emergency visit. The poor guy, I can't believe his teeth/gums are hurting terribly!!

So, I recognize the enemy distracting me from the God moments, but I will not be had! As soon as I remember them, I'll tell you all about it...

Happy Happy Easter!

Happy Easter! Jesus is alive!!

Today, we celebrate and give thanks that Jesus was resurrected! He is alive and preparing a place for us. He is not dead. He is not on the cross. He has victory over sin! And we can too - by accepting His gift of salvation. I am thankful. And so I rejoice, this Easter Sunday, that

He is alive!

Do you care?

79 words

Speed test

It's Spring Cleaning Day!

Well, I'm trying to make today "Spring Cleaning Day". I honestly hate cleaning. I wish so badly that we could get it clean and keep it clean. Instead of having to play recovery once things are out of control!

At this point, I only have two of my children here. So things are going pretty good. We've gotten their rooms, the hallway, the living room and the stairs done. I still have the kitchen and office to do. GameMaster's room assignment is the family room. He's not going to be happy about that when he gets home from his friend's house...

I am trying to get gung-ho and all positive to talk to him when he gets home. I've got my disciplinary plan ready to talk about with him. Then it will be time for him to jump into his chores. Why is this so hard for me? Why do I feel guilty about expecting this child to help clean house? He makes MOST of the messes! He is exasperating! Seriously, he exhausts me. I love him so much. But I feel the oppression when he is around. He must be so miserable for those around him to sense this so much! Please pray for him...to be set free!

I'm all alone today...

This feels so weird. I'm in my house all by myself, well just me and Duncan that is. It is spring break. If my children are not in school, they are with me. ALWAYS! Occasionally one of them will be gone to a friend's house, or two of them will go to my parents house. But all three?

It is so quiet...

Their dad had asked if they could spend the night with him last night and the day today. After praying about it, I told him they could spend today with him, but not the night. Not yet.

But then, GameMaster got a better offer. His friend called to see if he could come over at 10am today to spend the day and the night. I don't find that as a coincidence. Why 10am - the exact time that their dad was coming to get them? Well, that made a really good excuse for GameMaster, who pretended like it was a really hard decision to not hurt his dad's feelings, but decided to go to the friend's house.

He's just not ready. He's still very hurt and angry. I think he's scared too. I know he is uncomfortable around him. I feel so sorry for him having to go through this.

But then there is his attitude. What am I going to do? Somebody needs to beat his butt, you know? If you see a 10 year old boy treating him mom and siblings this way, what do you think? "Somebody needs to beat his butt!" Right? Well, think again. I'm in a very difficult place where I need to be extremely consistent in disciplining him, without confusing him or abusing him further. At this point I need to say that I've never and would never abuse my child. But once you've been abused, it doesn't take much to be perceived as abuse. If I lose it and yell at him, he goes running in fear like I'm about to hit him or something! He's so overly sensitive.

And then I think, how much of that is he using as a way out of getting in trouble? To manipulate me? I just don't know! That is why it is all such a delicate balance.

Today, while he is away, I am going to be praying for God to show me a discipline plan for him. He is getting out of control and he knows it. He needs help getting himself back into control. And I need help figuring out how to do that!

One thing that I do know that works is laying it out clearly for him. You know... if you do THIS, then your consequence is THIS. That way he knows what to expect and he knows that his consequences are from his own choices. My job is to define the problem behaviors and the consequences. Then DO IT!! Every Time!

Fun Day in the Smoky Mountains!

Poor CandyMan has spent the first part of his spring break on the couch with the flu. I'm getting pretty bored myself!! I thought maybe he could handle a little car ride up to the mountains. All of the kids were up early excited! So we packed a picnic, loaded up the car and even took Grandpa with us!

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We drove through Townsend, TN and around "The Loop" at Cades Cove. It was a beautiful, if a little chilly, morning in the East Tennessee Smoky Mountains! The temperature stayed in the upper 50's. CandyMan wore down fast and wasn't up for much.

GameMaster and Princess enjoyed getting out and touring an old homestead. Here is a picture of them in front of the barn. Cool, huh?

GameMaster became quite angry with me yesterday when I told him that I thought we'd go up to the mountains today. He has enjoyed being home-bound for days with nothing to do but video games! He didn't want to leave his precious Wii!! (Which is one of the biggest reasons I felt like I needed to get us out of here!!) Once we were up there, he admitted it wasn't so bad...

Princess loved every minute of it. She even got to drive for a little bit (in my lap). She had a wonderful day and was NOT ready to go home! But after our drive, we stopped in the picnic area for lunch. CandyMan was so worn out, he barely ate anything! He was ready to come home. So, we ended the day a little short and headed home.

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As you can see, he is getting tired of his running nose!!

All in all it was an enjoyable day. I'm glad we got out of the house, if even for a little bit! God's creation is amazing!

I will not be discouraged!

Let's see...just yesterday I was talking about what a conqueror in Christ that I was! So what's next!? You got it! CandyMan has the flu. We've already been to the pediatrician this morning. Spring Break starts today and we are starting it with the flu!

I will not let the enemy get me down! I will not be discouraged! I will not miss a step on my journey this time!!

I have been restored!

I have been trying all week to get time and determine how to tell you about what happened earlier this week. Then all of a sudden this morning I just felt like I had to tell my "Daughters of the King" small group leader about it. I wrote it all out and sent it to her in an e -mail. Now I'm going to share it with you!

As you know, I’ve been doing the Beth Moore Bible Study with the Tuesday morning group. I did the last day’s homework on Monday night and it was an INCREDIBLE experience! God used it to reveal a stronghold in my life (which we have been hearing about at church and at our DOK small group!). One that I keep coming back to – over and over. And I really had never recognized it as a stronghold!

As briefly as possible – we were studying Psalm 132:1-10. But to understand the passage, she took us back through the Old Testament to read about what led up to this Psalm. Basically, it was a story of David’s heart and passion for God and his wanting to find the Ark of the Covenant and bring it to a permanent place in Jerusalem. They looked, but didn’t find it where they thought it would be. Then when they found it they put it on a cart attached to oxen to haul it. At one point on the journey it started to slide off and a man close by (Uzziah) put his hand on it to steady it and he died! This scared and angered David so much that he abandoned the trip and left the ark there. Eventually, he heard of the blessings that God was pouring out on the household where the ark had been left, and he got back on track and after studying the proper way of transporting the ark, continued the journey to bring the ark home.

This stood out to me as myself!! I was a married woman – seeking after the heart of God. I was praying and praying and doing everything that I thought God wanted of me. Despite my miserable marriage, I had joy in the Lord and faith in Him for my future. Then all of a sudden, He did something that I didn’t expect of Him. He ended my marriage instead of healing it! I was scared and angry. I tried to abandon my journey as a Christian because of it. I tried to take my life into my own hands. I was too afraid to trust Him!

I’ve done this before. Any time that God “behaves” in a way that is inconsistent with whom I think He is or should be, I freak out and “abandon the journey”. Of course, the good news is He doesn’t abandon me and I always come back to Him.

Anyway, Monday night I spent an amazing time in prayer and quietness before Him. I feel like He has restored me to the faith that I’ve known before. I am so grateful and in love with Him!

I just had to share that with you!!

Today was a good day!

Today was such a beautiful day here in East Tennessee! It was near 70 degrees this afternoon, sunny, and springy! I just love this weather! I look forward to having a little bit warmer mornings to have my quiet times on the deck!

Today was just one of those days when everything fell into place and I got a lot accomplished and I feel good about it. You know those kinds of days? I got a good night's sleep for starters. I got more transcription done than I've ever gotten done in one morning! I had a good healthy salad for lunch. I got my Bible study done today. And I even got several things posted on my eBay store this afternoon before the kids came home from school.

Then I cooked dinner. And I do not say this lightly. My children debated at dinner about how long it had been since I had cooked a nice meal and sat down to eat with them. I had no idea that it was such a big deal for them! Of course, we used to have a family sit down dinner almost every night before the "changes" happened. Now, I just cook for them and spend the time running back and forth from the stove giving seconds, getting more drinks, etc... Tonight I cooked pork chops, mashed potatoes, green beans and crescent rolls. I put it all on the table and even sat and ate with them. They acted like it was Thanksgiving dinner or something! It was really funny! The best part about it was that I was appreciated!

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I got the dishes done, two of the kids have had their baths, and now we all have a little free time before gathering for our Bible Time. We've been reading the book of John. I'm trying to time it just right for Easter. We are really ahead of schedule, so it should work out. I've been amazed lately at how many times we've heard reference to John...whatever - on the radio, at church, different places! Every time, the kids are like, "Hey Mom! We just read that the other day in John 12" (or whatever!). Their minds are absorbing it. I love it!

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Two more days until Spring Break! They will be home with me for 10 days straight! I really hope for some warm days to do some fun things outdoors!!

I have been introduced...

My friend Lisa introduced me this morning to Idina Menzel. Okay, well not like really, in person - but to her music! She had a specific song in mind for me and she was right - I loved it!! You can check out the music video on the side bar over there. --------->

What a Day!

What a day we've had! I am exhausted (even though it is just almost 8pm in yesterday's time!).

We started bright and early this morning at a friend's church. I play in a handbell choir at her church and we played for both services this morning. Made for a long morning for the little ducklings!

GameMaster had a total meltdown on the way home about it all. And after we were home...for the next 30 minutes. Lots of tears shed. Lots of yelling (on his part, and a little on mine, I admit). Then he finally calmed down, apologized (so did I), and we got on with our afternoon. He had math homework that he got done pretty quickly without much argument (I guess he'd already gotten it out of his system?).

Then we went about trying to help poor Princess! Her first loose tooth has been driving her crazy and she was ready for it to come out. She preceded to scream and cry while we held her down and wiggled it. We'd stop and she'd lay down and get us to do it again!! She wanted it out, but she was scared. After about an hour of this, I said, "Enough!" And we started playing games instead!!

Princess and I made cookie bars (with peanut butter, oatmeal, chocolate chips, and white chocolate chips - yummy!). I cooked dinner. And then we seperated for some more playtime.

We ended our evening like most evenings at home with "Bible Time". We've been reading the book of John leading up to Easter. Tonight we read John 13. Then we each prayed. A nice ending to the day? Almost...

GameMaster got the bright idea to tie Princess's tooth to the Nerf dart and let her shoot her tooth out. She went along! It didn't work.

Then he tied her tooth to his radio control car. It made the car do a pop-a-wheelie, but said tooth stayed intact!! She giggled the whole time.

Then we really had a problem! We couldn't get the thread off of her tooth!!! So we went back to holding her down and wiggling and wiggling that tooth. At one point I looked up and CandyMan was pacing the floor with his hands folded under his chin - praying for her! It took almost another hour, but it finally popped out! Then she just looked at us and grinned!

I asked her if it hurt and she said no. Then what was all the screaming and crying about? She was afraid it was going to hurt! Oh. Okay. (Can't we relate?)

My gappy girl:

I am so proud!

We just got home from GameMaster's Martial Arts Class. We officially got signed up tonight and he got his uniform (a gi, I am told). You know what he said? "I am so proud of myself!" I am so proud too (and so thrilled to hear this from him!!)

Answered Prayer

Well, I've gotten a long-awaited answer. I met with the principal of FBA this morning. They are willing to give GameMaster the recommended 69% scholarship. That is a lot of money they are offering in a grant. It will still cost me a lot of money (at least to me).


I have prayed and prayed. I feel like this is where GM is supposed to be next year. It is another test of my "financial" faith to see if I trust Him to provide for that additional expense. Do I? Yeah, I think I do! Just last night, the ex-Papa Duck called to say that he had gotten a promotion at work. That means that we should be getting more child support then. How much you wanna bet that it is exactly the amount that we need each month to send GM to FBA!? That is just how my God works!
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On another note, Pretty Princess bit down into a piece of sausage at breakfast this morning and smiled at me really big. I was shocked by what I saw!! Her front bottom tooth had just laid straight to the left in front of the tooth next to it!! I made too big of a deal about it and scared her a little bit. I think she thought she was in trouble! Once I got to looking, you can see the adult tooth is peeking out of the skin behind it! She'll probably lose her first tooth at school today! Poor thing is completely freaked out by it, since she really hasn't had a significantly loose tooth to worry about! She was so cute with that tooth all crooked in front though!
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I'm taking GM to tour FBA this afternoon and see what he thinks. Then he is going to have his MRI done. We are praying that it will come back completely normal!

Busy, busy...

Lots going on here at the Duck's Nest!

I heard from FBA on GameMaster's scholarship. Well, sort of. I am meeting with the principal on Thursday to find out what they've determined. We are still praying for that miracle!

GameMaster has also been attending Aikijutsu classes (martial arts) the last few weeks. We have found a school that is Christ-centered. It is this man's ministry - to raise up boys into Christian men. Very cool! GM is really enjoying it and is ready to commit. We are talking to the owner on Thursday evening about that. Well, after he gets his MRI on his brain and cervical spine that afternoon.

I took our dog Duncan to have his haircut yesterday and realized that I hadn't had one in awhile either! So I went and got mine cut too. Of course, the dog's cut cost almost 4 times as much! What is with that!??!

I had Bible Study today and lunch with my friend Lisa afterwards. We have been enjoying each other's company so much. It is so good to have a Christian friend to discuss God, church, and our lives with. She is such a blessing to me. I love her so much!

When we go to lunch on Tuesdays I have my phone set at 2:45 to rush home to meet the school bus. Well at like 2:44 it started raining in sheets - sideways! Then my alarm went off. We dashed to the car (I offered to be a gentlewoman and pick her up, but she insisted) - giggling like little girls. Our fronts were barely wet, but our backsides were drenched (the rain was blowing into our backs)! It was so funny. Of course we started off the day with umbrellas and left them in the car! I don't know that they would've helped anyway!!

I've got some allergy yuck going on again. My sinuses are draining into my throat and it is getting all clogged up. Okay. Enough nastiness. I just pray it goes away quickly. And I am thankful that is the worst that I've gotten through these months of sickness every one else has experienced! I am thankful!!

Enough for me tonight! Time to start getting the ducklings ready for bed...

Pray for a miracle!

Please continue praying for my friend Trish. I have no update at this time.

In addition to this, please pray for a miracle! GameMaster and I have been praying for a miracle scholarship to a great Christian school. I talked to the First Baptist Academy today to find out the recommendations of the financial needs assessment - that was done through an independent company. The administrator told me that a very high percentage of scholarship has been recommended - so high that she needs to get the board's approval first! And the board meets tomorrow!!

I am taking the completed application, as well as a letter to the board, to her today. Please join us in praying for this miracle! We are praying for a full scholarship!

Remember...

There are so many passages in the Bible that call us to remember our past. In last week's Bible Study, Beth Moore talked about remembering our former bondage. This was especially good for me to hear. I must remember that He has freed me from bondage! I may be like the Israelites wandering in the desert waiting to go into the promised land. But I need not desire to go back to Egypt! I've been set free.

"In my anguish I cried to the Lord,

and He answered by setting me free."

--Psalm 118:5

What was your "bondage"? Remember...and be thankful.

Please pray for my friend...

Please pray for my friend Trish. She is a single mom with three children. She is having an incredibly bad day (this is an understatement, trust me). I don't have all of the details and we don't need to know all of the details to be able to lift her to the Lord.



Just knowing what I do know (very little), she is so heavy on my heart tonight. Please join my in praying for her and her children.

Wiggly teeth, bad moods, and new glasses!

Today has been a busy running around day.

I took Candy Man back to the dentist (go figure with a name like Candy Man!!). He has another abscessed tooth. Turns out his adult molars are coming in early and there is infection between one of the adult molars and the baby molar. The dentist prescribed antibiotics and said to come back in a week if the tooth hasn't fallen out. So he's been instructed to wiggle, wiggle, wiggle it!

I took him to school late and came home to work for a bit. Then I picked up GameMaster early from school and took him for an eye appointment. His vision has changed quite a bit in a year, so he got new glasses. We fought all the way to the eye doctor and in the office as well. He was so grumpy (and I quickly was too, I admit). So I took him to lunch and that helped a great deal!! (Men when they are hungry!)

Now we are off to karate so he can let off some steam there (I hope!). Here he is with his new glasses:

I'll live!

I had the CT scan this afternoon. All is normal. I just have a concussion. Not too serious. No bleeding on the brain or anything. So that's good.

My friend Lisa has instructed me to take a nice relaxing evening to myself - including a bath (which my children will tell you is VERY rare for me - I do shower though;). I think I will do that. I'm so tired from this headache! Hopefully it will go away soon!

Brain scan this afternoon...

Short update: Doctor says I definitely have a concussion. I'm having a scan this afternoon to determine what is going on exactly.

My brain hurts!

I've not blogged this week. I really want to though. Saturday night, on my great date, I hit the back of my head on this picture frame (hung too low) at the restaurant. I've had a headache ever since. I've been trying to get through the days, and do okay until mid-afternoon. I keep thinking that it will go away, but it's obviously not yet.

My friend Lisa pointed out to me yesterday that if it were one of my children having the same symptoms that I was having, I would've had them at the doctor already. Very true. So I called this morning and will be seeing my doctor later today.

I just don't have time for this. I know they are going to want to do a CT scan. This is so messed up - but I'm really afraid that something is really wrong, but since I don't have time to deal with it I don't want to know. As if my delay couldn't cause worse problems for me!? I know.

Anyway, I haven't been avoiding you on purpose. I just don't feel good. I'm sorry. I'll keep you updated on what I find out today...

On a brighter (and whiter) note - we got some snow this morning. Of course the worst of it was after the kids were at school. They were so disappointed that school wasn't closed!

I went on a date!

I had a very special date tonight! I just had to share it with you! We had a very sweet time together!

We laughed. We shared. We had fun. And we had very serious conversations too.

He shared his heart with me tonight and I feel so close to him. I can't express how special he is to me.

I can't wait for our next date. I am certain he feels the same way.

I really care for him. In fact, I love him deeply.

He is my son. My 10 year old son. I am so not ready for a date with anyone else but my precious boys right now!

Did I have you going for a moment? Or were you on to me?

GameMaster will have an MRI

I just got online to start reading about the possibilites of what could be going on inside of GameMaster's brain. Not a good idea. I'm not going to go there.

We have returned from seeing a child neurologist today (finally). He feels like an MRI needs to be done. Even though the pain is sporadic and not as severe now, there is a cause for it. If the MRI shows nothing, then we may never know what the cause is. If the MRI detects something, it probably won't be a good thing.

So, we will wait for the testing. He said it will take a couple of weeks to get in for the test.

Meanwhile, the kids are out of school today and tomorrow for illness in the schools. So we have a four day weekend!! Too bad it is cold and dreary outside.

I'm taking GameMaster to a Martial Arts class tonight. He's never been before. A close friend's teenage son takes classes there and has recommended it for GameMaster. So we are going to check it out. This sweet teenager is going with us to help GM feel better about it.

We had a little breakthrough this morning. GM and I were talking and I told him that he couldn't do anything until he got his schoolwork done. He got angry with me about that and said, "I'm mad at you!" I got so excited! (It was really kind of funny. He didn't know what to do.) I asked him why he was mad and he told me. We talked about it and ended up hugging! I told him how proud I was of him for expressing his anger, instead of stomping off and letting it boil within him - and taking it out on one of his siblings. He felt really good about it and we were all cool. We will keep working on it...

Oops! I did it again!

I've done it again! I broke my toe yesterday! Again! If my feet weren't so dang long this wouldn't happen to me so much!! So, I'm freezing my toes off today in flip flops (it's 38 degrees right now). I can't find a shoe that will work.

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I was singing to my ducklings this morning, "I'm so blu-hu-hu, blu-hu-hu, blu-hu-hu-huuuuuu! I don't know what to do!" (You know - from Veggie Tales Madame Blueberry.) Of course, I'm not blue, just my toe is....

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I'm off to Bible Study!!!

A lot to say...

Where to start? Where to start? I need to review everything that I've learned about myself over the last few days. If I don't, I'll just forget it and move on without it changing me!

I learned that my oppression during my children's sicknesses is caused by none other than ME! I completely lose hope - as if the world has ended and I'll never be able to do anything again. Last week, after being home with Princess (with strep) from Sunday until Tuesday, and then finding out on Thursday that she also had the flu. I gave in to the depression and decided that I wouldn't get to do all of the things over the weekend that I was so looking forward to! I didn't even wait to see what might happen. Then when Princess woke up fever-free on Friday morning, I didn't know what to do with myself. It was all I could do to pull myself back out of the pit and look forward to the weekend again. I'd lost momentum and given up! Then when everything was restored, I wasn't!

Lessons to learn: Don't ever give up! Live one moment at a time. God is in control and has the best plan for my future. Don't try to figure it all out ahead of time.

At the Single Mom's Conference I learned a couple things...

Brenda Warner was the speaker. Her story of being a single mom (in low-income housing, on food stamps, with 2 children, one of which was severely disabled), her parents dying during this difficult time (in a tornado no-less!!), and her healing and new life as Kurt Warner's wife (You can read their story here.) was very encouraging and uplifting. It made me feel so much better. Even in the mistakes that I am making, God will use those for good - for me and my children. I've been kicking myself so much for every little thing that I haven't been for my children, or myself!

Lessons to learn: God is in control. He wants to work for our good. I must trust in Him, that even in these times He wants to bless us, provide for us, and prepare us for our future. Which leads to...I don't have to know what the future will be.

In a Breakout Session at the conference I attended a talk on Forgiveness. This was very good for me, but even better...God used it to open my eyes about what GameMaster is going through. One of the statements was... "Unresolved hurt and anger lead to many types of defenses: exaggerating, a critical attitude, rationalization, excessive shyness, perfectionism, workaholism, or pleasing others. The breakdown of these defense mechanisms results in a life-style of depression, bitterness and excuse-making." I am better able to see what is going on inside him now. We've talked twice since learning this. It will take time. He has so much hurt and anger, it is hard for him to get past the last incident that hurt him (which may be as simple as his brother looking at him wrong). I feel better equipped to help him forgive.

In addition to this... I took another Breakout Session on Peace in the midst of Pain. I wish I'd taken this one a year ago!! God revealed the root of my self-pity and the other problems that it has been causing me! My self-pity was really rooted in anger. I realized how mad I have been at Martin for allowing this to happen and for not feeling more sorry for me! And to add to that (and this is more hard to admit), I've been mad at you (yes, you) for not feeling more sorry for me. I was feeling so sorry for myself. I just couldn't understand why no one else felt sorry for me. Then when someone actually did show their pity, I spiralled into greater self pity - I was validated! What a mess!

Lessons to learn: God will always guide me and show me how to help my children. I need to spend time with GameMaster - frequently - and help walk him through a path of forgiveness. I need to pray and ask for God's help for him daily. I need to forgive Martin. I need to forgive you. I need to forgive my church (what was my church during this time). I need to take my thoughts captive and not allow myself to go down a path of self-pity! I need to learn to be content with God alone. I need to learn that God is enough to sustain me when all else might fail me.

And then I went to small group at church on Sunday morning to the "DOK - Daughters of the King". Our leader talked on taking our walk one step and a time and how God will sometimes just show us the next step we need to take and how sometimes He shows us farther down the path. We read many scriptures on letting Him guide us, trusting Him and waiting on Him. Like:

"A man's steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way?" --Proverbs 20:24

"Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" --Isaiah 30:18

I don't know what my future looks like. The only things that I know are for this year:

1. God has ensured me that I am to be a worker from home right now and that He will provide for us.

2. I know that I am to be seeking Him and opportunities to grow closer to Him - through church, quiet times, Bible study, small group, Christian relationships, service and any other possibility that He may send my way.

3. I am to continue to provide a stable home environment for my children. I need to spend frequent time with GameMaster and help him to overcome what he is struggling with.

That's it! That is all I know right now. And I'm perfectly okay with that.

Lessons to learn: God is in control. He has my future all planned and all I have to do is wait to see what it will be. I need to seek after Him to guide me and show me His path for me. I need to be content with what He shows me and what He doesn't show me.

So, I think that is enough. Don't you? How is that for an open book? Anything else you want to know about me? If I know, I'll tell you. Sometimes I think that other people know me much better than I know myself. I'm just not very in tune with myself. This weekend helped me to see inside myself quite a bit. Now I just need to grow through it!

It's looking good...

Well, it's looking good for me to get to attend the Single Mom's Conference afterall!!

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My friend Elisabeth was looking at going to the conference by herself, so she asked her mom to keep my Princess for me! She said yes! She's bringing a mask and Lysol with her! This all happened last night.

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Now, Princess is up this morning - fever-free! If she remains fever-free, she can just go with us and the weekend is back on! I kinda don't expect this though...

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What is really strange about the whole thing is how I went through all of the phases of acceptance yesterday. By the end of the day, I had accepted that I'd be home all weekend and was prepared for the isolation. Then Elisabeth called with this idea and now I'm having to work up my excitement about it again. I'm so strange. It's like I'd given in to the isolation. Now I'm having a hard time getting back out of that pit. That fast! Isn't that weird!?

Happy Valentine's Day

Well, Princess has the flu!! Poor baby! Strep and the flu! She feels lousy!

I'm so bummed! I had plans tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday! Saturday is the Single Mom's Conference!! I needed that so bad! It's only once a year. I hate to miss it! Sunday is my single mom's small group and church. I'll have to miss it all!

I'm just plain old mad about it!